Undertale: Reason to Live

Chapter 44

Sans teleported home as quickly as he did because he did not want Alphys to see him as distressed as he felt.

He sat down on the couch and let a few tears fall. Now, Sans had another reason to hate his father just when he finally thought that part of his life could be put to some good use…

Sans paused when he heard a noise coming from the upstairs bathroom. It sounded like singing, but it was so quiet you almost couldn't hear it. Sans could just make out the words.

"It's summertime and the livin' is easy…"

Sans got up and slowly began climbing the stairs.

"Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high…"

Sans figured out the noise was coming from the secret bathroom.

"Oh, your daddy's rich and your mom is good-lookin', so hush little baby, don't you cry…"


Sans walked over to the bathroom and adjusted the picture to open the door, but he didn't barge in right away. He looked in through the crack to see Frisk with towels wrapped around his waist and his shoulder and the key still hanging around his neck while doodling on the fogged-up glass. His hair was wet. That meant he had just showered. The washing machine was going too, so the kid was most likely naked.

"One of these mornings, you gonna rise up singin'. Yes, you'll spread your wings and take to the skies…"

Sans opened the door quietly and paused to hear the last lyric. Frisk was had drawn an eye with wings and a halo and he was drawing stick figures of a man and a woman with wings.

"But till that mornin', there's nothin' can harm you," Frisk sang quietly as he added the finishing touches on his stick figures. "With daddy and mommy standin' by…"

Frisk smiled at his work and turned around to see Sans. Frisk looked like he had been crying.

"Oh, hey," Frisk said. "What's up, Sans?"

"I might ask you the same thing," Sans said. "What are you doing doodlin' on a foggy mirror in the middle of the night with no clothes on?"

"Well…" Frisk said trying to come up with a decent lie. "I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I figured I might as well shower and wash my clothes…"


Sans saw right through him, but he decided not to call him out on it. Not yet.

"What's that song you were singin'?" Sans asked.

"That was a song my Mom used to sing when I was little," Frisk said. "It's like 100 years old. I think it came from a musical."

"Your Mom sounds like she had great musical taste. You sounded good."

"I did?" Frisk asked a little self-consciously. "My parents always said I sounded good, but I've always kinda felt weird about it. My voice still sounds so babyish."

"Well, that shouldn't last for much longer. Your voice is gonna change soon."

"I know. I can't wait. Then, I'll be able to sing all the deep parts in the grunge songs."

Sans chuckled a bit to himself and said, "Okay, superstar, do you want some clothes to wear while waiting on yours to dry so you're not sitting up there in the nude?"

"That would be nice," Frisk said. "Thanks."

"I'll be right back."

Sans short cut back to his room and thought about what he was going to say to Frisk while getting his clothes. The kid had probably had a nightmare or another panic attack, but he wanted to keep it to himself instead of waking Papyrus. Frisk was stubborn like that, just like him.

The last thought made Sans shudder.

Back in the bathroom, Frisk sat and stared at the picture he doodled. To make it more complete, he doodled a picture of himself under the drawings of his parents.

He liked it. He liked it so much that he shed a tear. Frisk continued to stare at it until Sans teleported next to him with the clothes and spooked him so much that he almost crawled backwards off the dryer.


"Woah, kiddo!" Sans said grabbing Frisk's hand before he could fall. "Don't break your neck now."


"I don't think I'll ever get used to you doing that," Frisk said while he sat himself up.

"You will," Sans said letting go of his hand and putting his clothes in Frisk's lap. "Papyrus barely notices anymore. Now, put on your clothes. Believe it or not. I do not like seeing you naked."

"Fine. But you have to turn around."

"Gladly."

Sans turned around while Frisk pulled on his clothes.

Before Frisk could finish, Sans asked, "What are ya doin' up? I thought I told you to go to bed."

Frisk stood there clutching the shirt nervously and said, "I got bored. I'm not used to going to bed so early."

Sans didn't say anything until after Frisk pulled on his shirt, sat down against the mirror, and started scratching his scars.

"Kid, if you're gonna lie to me, you gotta do better than that," Sans said turning back around.

"What?" Frisk asked. "How did you know?"

"You don't think that after observing you for 40 runs I wouldn't be able to figure anything out about you," Sans said sitting down next to him. "I know you better in some ways than you know yourself at this point. Besides, you should know by now that I'm not as gullible as those cops on the surface. Why are you really awake? Did you have a bad dream?"

Frisk laid back against the mirror, sighed deeply, folded his arms, and said, "No, I had a really good dream. It was so good I woke up crying."

"What did you dream about?"

"I saw my parents again."

Sans responded with stunned silence.

Frisk closed his eyes to bring the picture to his mind and said, "I was back at the bus stop where I got off to hike on Mt. Ebott one last time, except my parents were there. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy. I didn't question how or why. We hiked up the mountain like I did before, but it was better because they were there. We walked and talked and enjoyed the scenery like we did when they were alive. I told them what I had done, but they weren't mad at me. They still loved me and told me they were proud of me…"

Frisk started choking up as tears fell from his eyes.


"I could hear their voices, Sans," Frisk said in between tears. "They sounded like they did when they were alive. Their skin and their clothes felt the same. They even smelled the same. I could smell my Mom's vanilla bean perfume. I could smell my Dad's e-cig from when he would vape. It smelled like a cappuccino. That was my favorite smell…"

Frisk opened his eyes and wiped the tears that were blinding his vision.

"Anyways, we got to the stairs going up to where I fell," he said. "But instead of turning back to go home like we normally would, we hopped the fence and climbed the stairs all the way to the top.

That was when my Dad said, 'We've had a great time, Frisk, but sadly, we have to go back.'

I started freaking out and telling them that I wanted to go with them, but they kept telling me the same thing and that they couldn't stay.

I asked why, and my Mom was like, 'There's a bunch of complicated theological and spiritual mumbo jumbo, and if we tried explaining it to ya, you would probably just get confused. But the bottom line is we're dead and you're not. You can't follow us. Not yet anyway.'

My Mom always had a funny way of explaining things.

So, I got upset and started begging them to take me with them, but my Dad picked me up and gave me a hug, like he used to do when I was sad. He was so warm. I never wanted him to let go.

He said, 'Bud, we can't take ya with us because it ain't your time yet. Our time came. We died defending you and what we believed in. We have no regrets, except for you, of course, but we're at peace. You're not. For God's sake, you've barely lived, and your heart is already so broken. Now, you've been forgiven and called to make up for your mistakes and heal and all that stuff, and you just wanna leave? You can't. You also gotta be there for the new family you've found. You can't just leave them.'

Then, I said, 'I'm not gonna replace you guys.'

My Mom's like, 'Well, duh. We ain't asking ya to do that, Frisk. We're just asking you to open your heart to new bonds. They're your family now, too. You can love them as much as you love us.'

I told them, 'No, I could never love anyone as much as I love you two.'

My Dad then lifted me above the hole and said, 'You know we hate it when you try to lie to us, Frisk. You were willing to die for them. That's the most loving thing you can do for anyone.'

I looked back at them and told them how much I still needed them, but my parents both told me…"

Frisk started getting choked up again and had to calm himself down before he said, "They both said they couldn't be there for me much anymore, even though they still loved me and watched over me every day. I had to find that love in another place.

Of course, the Almighty backed them up, and before I could ask any questions, my Dad dropped me back in the chasm, and I woke up."

Frisk wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his head on top of them.

"I don't care if you believe me or not," Frisk said. "It was them. They came to speak to me."

"I believe you, kid," Sans said honestly.

Frisk looked back at his drawing and said, "I still need them, Sans. How do I keep living without them?"

Sans looked at him not knowing what to say but understanding exactly how he was feeling. Sans reached into his pocket and reluctantly pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills.


"I got this from Alphys, too," Sans said showing the bottle to Frisk.


Frisk stretched out his legs again, and he read the label on the bottle of pills.

"Alphys got me sleeping pills?" he asked.

"Yep," Sans replied. "She knows about your issues and manufactured this in case your stress kept you awake. I didn't want to use it unless it was necessary, but now, it looks like it might be."

"Do you want me to take the meds?"

"I want you to be able to rest and feel better. I don't want your brain to keep you up all night. God knows mine has before."

Frisk unscrewed the bottle, took a pill, and said, "Okay, I trust you."

That last sentence shook Sans to his core. He didn't deserve him. If only, he knew…

Sans sat in silence while Frisk swallowed the pill, screwed the lid back on the bottle, and handed the container back to Sans.

"I'm gonna take you to see a psychologist before I think about giving you any more medication," Sans said. "I don't like pumping you up with meds like this."

The meds seemed to start taking effect almost immediately because Frisk quickly fell against Sans' shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo," Sans said. "Why don't you go back to bed?"

"I can't," Frisk said. "My clothes are almost done being washed. I have to wait until I can put them in the dryer, so I can have them for training tomorrow. I just have to wait until they're done."

In one motion, Sans pulled his coat off, placed Frisk on his lap so that he was leaning against his chest, and laid his coat on top of him.

"Why do you have to be so damn mature and responsible?" Sans asked. "It's annoying."

"It's not like I've had much of a choice," Frisk said in an amused tone. "Besides, I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I like pulling my own weight…"

Unexpectedly, Sans wrapped his arms around his body and held Frisk snugly against him.

"God, you're starting to act like your brother," Frisk said in response.

Sans didn't say anything but looked at him and started rubbing his hair.

"Summertime, and the livin' is easy," Sans sang. "The fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high."

His voice was tenor. It took Frisk aback. That was how his Dad's voice used to sound when he sang.

Sans kept singing, "Oh, your Daddy's rich, and your Mom is good-lookin', so hush, little baby, don't you cry."

Frisk shut his eyes and relaxed. Sans' voice was oddly soothing. He heard Sans doodling on the mirror and opened his eyes to see that on either side of his drawing of himself he had drawn stick figures of himself and Papyrus.

"One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singin'," Sans sang looking back at him and pointing to Frisk's drawing of himself. "Yes, you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the skies…"

Then pointing to the stick figures of himself and Papyrus, Sans sang, "But till that mornin', there's nothin' can harm you. Yes, with Daddy and Mommy standin' by."

Frisk laid there in stunned silence for a moment before his weary eyes filled to brim with tears and he gave Sans the tightest hug he had ever given him.

"I love you," Frisk said quietly.

"I know," Sans said holding him back. "I love you, too."

Frisk smiled, and his HP rose by another point. Sans' heart was so warmed that he felt his HP raise, too.

"How well did I sing it?" Sans asked finally allowing Frisk to get back to how he was lying before. "I thought it wasn't bad for a first performance."

"You did great, but there's one thing I don't understand," Frisk said shutting his eyes again. "Why'd you make Papyrus the Mom?"

Sans giggled quietly to himself.

"It's because I'm the best Mom ever!" Papyrus said suddenly bursting into the bathroom.

"Pap, how long have you been out there?" Sans asked.

"Since you got in the bathroom actually," Papyrus said. "I noticed Frisk was missing, so I came to investigate and heard everything! Sans, I'm so proud of you. You're being sweet instead of sarcastic and annoying. You're being a great big brother."

Sans felt touched and said, "Thanks, bro. That means a lot."

He looked down and noticed that Frisk was still not opening his eyes.

"Hey, Frisk?" Sans asked.

"Papyrus," Frisk said barely conscious. "Is it alright if we wait to go out in the morning so I have time to get my clothes dried? I don't think I can do it tonight."

"That's fine," Papyrus said. "That's no problem at all."

Frisk smiled and fell asleep on Sans' lap. Then before Sans knew what was happening, Papyrus scooped him and the sleeping child up in his arms.

"Come on," Papyrus said turning off the bathroom like and walking back to his room. "Let's go sleep in my room."

"Pap, there's not enough room in your bed," Sans said.

"Nonsense," Papyrus said as he shut his door behind him and climbed back into bed with his brothers still in his arms. "There's plenty of room for everyone, Sans."

Papyrus pulled the covers over everyone and quickly went back to sleep.

Papyrus was right. There was just enough room for everyone to fit. Sans had to admit he was cozy.

Before he went to sleep himself, Sans sent out one more text message on his phone to Toriel this time telling her that they needed to talk in the morning.