Undertale: Reason to Live

Chapter 38

Frisk finished eating his food and pushed the plate aside, so he could fold his arms and rest his head on top of them. He said nothing and only occasionally drank from his glass of water.

Sans looked at him pitifully while finishing his own dinner. He wished he knew what to say, but he didn't. Sans couldn't make the nightmares stop in his own head. He didn't know what he could do for himself, much less the kid. Nonetheless, he prayed for the first time in years and decided to say something.

"I wish I could say something to make it all stop, kid," Sans said. "I really do. You never deserved what that piece-of-shit flower did to ya."

"Are you sure about that?" Frisk said without looking at him. "I've done some pretty bad things."

Sans took a bite of food and then said, "Yes, I'm sure. You've repented. You've done everything you could to undo your mistakes. Now, no one's dead because of you. Besides, the Almighty showed ya mercy. I'm pretty sure that means the rest of us have to follow suit. As for that weed though, I'd happily see him burn in hell."

Frisk sat up and said, "But why him more than me?"

Sans waited to swallow his food before he responded, "You remember what he said to you when you fell down on your first run?"

Frisk was confused so he shut his eyes and made himself relive that memory. His determination allowed him to bring that memory to mind, despite how much time had passed since then, but he quickly tuned it out. It was too painful.

"I don't wanna think about it, Sans," Frisk said getting up and walking to the couch.

Before he reached the couch however, Sans picked him up, pulled him back in, and said, "You need to, kiddo. I think it would help."

"No, it won't!" Frisk yelled. "I can't think about him without screaming! How is talking about him going to help?!"

"Fine," Sans said sitting Frisk back in the chair. "I'll do it for you. I have the memory now, too. Remember?"

Sans proceeded to describe the memory, and Frisk relived it with him.

Frisk remembered waking up after his fall on the bed of yellow flowers. He remembered wandering how he could possibly still be alive and looking up in despair at where he had fallen from.

Frisk knew about the monsters, every human on the surface did. He also remembered how his parents had died. Frisk wasn't sure what he'd face as he tried to make his way out of the underground.

Seeing the pathway ahead, he wandered into the ruins where he met Flowey for the first time. Frisk thought he was friendly before he tried killing him with his seeds.

"Down here, it's kill or be killed…" Flowey said in his intimidating voice.

Frisk's eyes filled with angry tears as he remembered his dying parents and said, "All of you are like this, aren't you? You're all killers who hurt anyone's who's naïve enough to trust you."

Flowey gave Frisk a look that was at first surprised before it curled into a demented smile.

He only nodded his head and said, "What are you going to do about it, kid?"

"I'm gonna stop you!" Frisk yelled at him.

"Interesting."

Flowey was then blown away as Toriel came in with her fire magic.

"Does any of that sound familiar, Frisk?" Sans asked when he was done.

Frisk nodded his head and resumed his former posture.

"Then you would remember that that flower manipulated you. He let you think that way on purpose, so you could kill all the monsters for him. He used you like some goddamn child soldier…" Sans said.

"But he never said all monsters were evil, Sans…" Frisk said.

"He still let you think that. Didn't he? Think about it, Frisk. If he knew that wasn't true, why would he let you go on thinking that way? He wanted you to do his dirty work. I don't know why when he said he's done it himself before, but that's not the point. The point is you can't keep hating yourself when it wasn't completely your fault…"

Frisk sat up and yelled, "But Sans, I was still stupid! I still did it, and even if I'm forgiven now, there's no way I can take that back!"

Sans calmly replied, "What are you talking about, kid? You reset time. Remember? No one's dead anymore, kiddo. You brought them back. You did take it back. Besides, like I said before, the Almighty forgave you and we forgive you, too. All is forgiven now. No one has a reason to be mad at you anymore, squirt. You should stop being mad at yourself."

Frisk laid on the table for another minute in stunned silence. Sans went back to eating his food and prayed that his words had an effect.

When that minute was up, Frisk got up, pulled his chair over until his seat was touching Sans', climbed back into the chair, wrapped his arms around Sans' right arm, and started crying into it.

Sans looked at him, sighed, and said, "Now, you're in a cuddly mood. I know how you feel, squirt. I don't know how long it's gonna take for ya to forgive yourself. I'm not too good at it myself, but one day, I know you'll be able to. For right now, though, you can just let it out. It's alright. I'm used to being a crying pillow."

Sans put him in his lap and held him close while he cried, and they sat like that for a good ten minutes. Once Frisk let out all his tears, he just leaned against Sans trying to collect himself.

When Frisk had finally calmed down, he looked down and saw Sans' food unattended. Sans' eyes were closed, so Frisk reached for Sans' food to see if he could get a bite for himself without Sans looking. Unfortunately, he was frozen before he could touch the plate.

"You've lost your touch, you little thief," Sans said while moving Frisk back to his chair. "You are aware that there's enough food for seconds, right?"

"But the calories don't count when they come from someone else's plate," Frisk replied.

"What?"

"I don't know. It's something my Mom used to say whenever she stole food off my Dad's plate."

Sans snickered out loud while Frisk served himself some more food and said, "Where have you been all my life?"

Frisk smirked with his mouth full and went back to eating.