𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒓 ᖭི༏ᖫྀ 𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚖𝚜

2038: take on me

[2 0 3 8]

I made sure her grave was between them.

Joel's, on the right.

One for Kiara, on the left, already made up when I got back.

And her's, in between.

It was an empty grave, save for one little jar of seawater.

Carved on his, the moth.

Carved on Kiara's, the butterfly.

It took a while for me to choose what Amelia would have wanted. She loved so many things. I thought about the pilot fish, but that was an us thing, and it hurt a bit too much.

The stag felt better.

It represented a lot.

How sometimes, it's better to leave well alone.

To watch beauty from a distance.

To choose not to destroy everything in our path.

And Amelia had told me before, that sometimes, she'd wished we'd stayed in the forest forever. I tried not to think about that now as I stroked the fresh earth.

People in Jackson didn't really understand. They hadn't met her, of course. I had wanted them to. She'd shock some sense into them. The thought almost made me smile.

I tried not to let it make me delirious.

Dina and Jesse were pretty cut up, though. They really liked her. More than that, they said, they liked what she brought to me. It sucked when I heard that. I sort of wanted to just curl up and die right there.

Lev was there for Finn when he found out, who took it hardest. Even though he was still reeling from the decision Amelia had made on his behalf, his face when I arrived back in Jackson, alone, bloodied and with a look that spoke more than I could ever say, he wept immediately. His big sister was gone. That's all he kept saying. And it took a while for him to get back on his feet.

I felt barely on mine.

It was winter again. Next month it would be a year since I'd met her.

Such a short span of time, really, I'd known her. Round about eight months or so. But, really, they spoke louder than the years I'd known anyone else.

The snowdrops bowed their heads in memoriam, decorated in jewels of frost.

"Hey, Crumpets," I said, staring at the headstone. "It's me... again."

I still spoke to her, and him, sometimes. I'd say something to Kiara too, when I could, out of respect. But I didn't want to forget. The grief was so strong it felt impossible that I could but I was more.

"Do you guys...ever talk?"

I wasn't sure who I was speaking to.

"It's so dumb that we were never all in the same sphere. Like...me and Joel but I hadn't met you. Then you and me but without him. And now...you two are all chummy...up there..."