Boots of Booty | ONC 2023

Part 5

14. Tea House

Silver light from the slow moon, Gáo, outlined the curly roof line of the tea house. Entrances graced each of its four corners. Groomed shrubbery and clipped hedges made the grounds into a leafy maze.

"Clever," murmured Tash. "You'd need at least eight pairs of eyes to properly surveil this place."

"What a beautiful building. It's a lot prettier than the Shagging Rabbits," Séa said.

"Shaggy—" Tash bit off her sentence, then sighed. "Never mind."

"Cleverness abounds, here," Ghomarck said. "But let us go in without delay."

The shrubbery swallowed their shadowy forms. They crept past the threshold of a corner entrance. Faint light illuminated potted plants, chandeliers, petite tables, wicker chairs, and painted parchment screens. The watery voices of several fountains burbled soothingly.

"I feel like I'm being watched," the rogue murmured.

"Sure! By me," Séa chirped.

Tash guffawed. "Séa."

"What? Even buried in a robe I get tingly glimpses."

"Ladies," Ghomarck wheezed, "I pray, do maintain circumspection. Naturally, we are being observed. By our actions, words, and magical auras we are judged. Come this way, behind the kitchen."

They skirted an island of stoves, counters, and cabinets. A trap door of the obvious variety led to stairs that descended below ground level. Séa whispered to Tash, "What's circumspection? It sounds naughty or medical or both."

"I don't really know, but he always wants you to be quiet, so maybe that's it."

"But being loud is one of my finest features."

The wizard halted before an extremely solid metal door with no visible latch or knob. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if quelling a headache. "Please, be quiet. I must plead my case." He cleared his throat and faced the featureless barrier. "I hight Master Ghomarck, wizard of the circle. I have two companions not of the circle, but this is an emergency. I request entry to the tea room. Party of three. Reservations in the name of Braphéa, Jai, Herpsilagodos, Schyll, and Ter-Ferras." He exhaled through his mustache and muttered. "May he rest in the vaporous arms of Shalamoux-Nora."

Subdued trickles and splashes of fountain water frolicked above them as time stretched. Séa squirmed. Her eyes roved between Tash and Ghomarck, and she twitched.

Finally, she blurted, "That was so poetic! I barely understood a word." She stage-whispered to Tash, "He's very good, isn't he?"

Tash giggled.

Ghomarck buried his face in his hands.

The door popped open with unnatural swiftness. An elderly female gnome peered up at them over half-moon spectacles. "In! In, all of you," she scolded. She backed up to allow their entrance and shook a finger at the wizard. "Most irregular, Ghomarck. Don't make me regret this." She frowned deeply and shook her head from side to side. "Dark days. Dark hours."

Gloom cloaked the underground space until the door clicked shut. In that moment, crystal orbs placed around the room shimmered with greenish light. Dormant fountains percolated to musical life. Vines covered the stone-block walls of the cozy, humid space. Curvy garden ponds weaved around hoary dwarf trees and carved stone fountains. The sight lit Tash's and Séa's faces with expressions of delight.

Oblivious to the meticulously-tended beauty, the wizard glowered. "It is worse than you know, Mistress Nolla. These two report strong hints that our present plight is due to demonic influences in court."