Fuck the Hood

A Day With China

The next day I saw China in the kitchen. Her head was down and I could tell she was crying.

"China" I whispered trying not to wake Keisha

China looked up and wiped her face

"Why are you up so early?" She asked

"I always wake up at this time"

"Oh, well you want some breakfast"

"Yeah" I said coming down the stairs

"So, why didn't you tell me that your having a baby"

"Well, I really haven't told anybody, pops over heard it, momma don't know, Jamal knows. That's it"

"Mhmm, well haven't you noticed?" She said looking curious

"Noticed what" I asked eating pancakes

''Momma Ty. She always looks sad. She doesn't look happy anymore. I mean I know she might smile but when I came she looked depressed"

"She's getting old. She probably just missed having a daughter around."

"Probably. Or she's tired of her son going to jail" she looked at me smiling.

I smiled back

"A few little mistakes" I said

"Yeah right. " China said sitting across from me. "Are you planning on going to college?"

"Yeah maybe a city college" I said

"Why not go for a university"

"Because, I've been to jail and I don't have money"

"Get a job. And so what? With God's help, anything is possible"

"I just wanna do me"

"That's the problem Ty. Doing you us messing you up" she said

"Your just like pops" she stood up. "You always talking about God then do another different thing."

"Ty, your a intelligent young man. You can do better then a city college"

"You don't understand. You wasn't raised in the hood. You can't relate"

"Fuck the hood Ty!" She started walking back and forward. "Fuck it. I'm black going into a white community. I faces challenges. I went through shit. But I kept pushing. The hood not holding you back. You making that your excuse. Your holding yourself back. Your lifestyle is holding yourself back. You just don't wanna change."

"China!" I said

"No! Your my brother. You won't be a nobody. You will be somebody. Can you at least change for your baby or your girlfriend?"

"I can't just up and change. It takes time"

"Trust me I know"

"How?"

"Pop didn't tell you but I was a drug addict. That's why they kicked me out. And they didn't want you to know. After Deshawn died they didn't even want you to know I was your sister. But I went on with my life, got away from drugs and got my degree." She sat down.

"China, I love you but I'm grown, I can handle my own life."

"Ok, I respect that"

I went back upstairs. I came down dressed.

"Where are you going?" China asked

"With you" I said

"What makes you think that"

"Well your dressed some I'm assuming you about to go somewhere"

"I'm going to Deshawn's grave."

"Oh, I'm definitely going''

"Ight then" China said

China got her stuff together and we got in her car.

"Lemme drive" I asked

"Hell naw, if you drive that's 2 more graves momma and daddy is gonna have to visit"

"What you tryna say China" I asked

"I'm saying you can't drive. I've seen you" she said

She started up the car and put some music on. I slept most of the way there. When we finally arrived I almost was scared to come out. I never been to his grave before.

"Cmon nerd!" China yelled

I jumped out

"You been around them white people too much"

"Why you say that" she asked

"Your jokes are lame" I said

"My best friend is white and get jokes are funny asl, "

"Learn from her then"

We walked to the grave and we sat in the grass. China put a flower on the grave. She cried and cried. I put my arms around her and she pushed off. She cried louder. China ran to the car and I followed. She got back out the car. She looked like she just fixed herself up. Her make up was in order and everything. She sat down again and I did the same. She looked up and started praying. With God everything is possible.