The Jamaican Student: Welcome To America

Cutting Ties

Jeminye

I've never had to break up with anyone before what do I say?

Wait we're not even together so it shouldn't be too hard.

Then why am I hesitating?

"If you want whatever we're doing to come to an end just say the word Jeminye", he said sounding angry but defeated.

Great now I look like the bad guy, but I can't be for choosing me.

"At least look at me", he gritted out.

As I slowly turned around and saw his eyes and the hurt that was there an undeserved guilt hit me.

"They announced employee of the month today", I said even though I know that's not what he wants to hear.

His face scrunched in confusion.

"You're not happy about it, why?". He asked almost as if he genuinely doesn't know I'm not the one that received it.

I scoffed.

"Like you don't know", I said with a low bitter laugh.

"Know what Jem", he sighed frustratingly.

"Just stop bray, go home", I said not wanting to have this conversation at least not today.

He kept pushing it still acting like he doesn't know what takes place in his own business.

"Jem just talk to m-".

"I DIDN'T GET IT!, it wasn't me okay the person that showed the most promising future is Eliza Garcia", I yelled then smiled in frustration.

"I'm confused why-".

"Because I was stupid enough to get distracted or so I was told", I made my way to the kitchen to pour me a glass of wine in order to have this conversation.

"Let me guess I'm the distraction, which is why I couldn't get you on your cellphone", he said while seemingly putting the pieces together.

He scoffed.

"Fine I'll make a call and".

"What, no don't you dare", I said angrily.

"TELL ME WHAT TO DO THEN AND I'LL FIX IT DAMMIT!", he yelled frustrated.

"I'm sorry I-" he apologized for his outburst.

I was too stunned to speak, why is he getting so riled up, does he really care that much about me?

But that doesn't matter, he got his chance to be successful and by what my uncle told me he did it single and focused, now it's my turn.

Why is it so hard to just tell him that though.

"Brayden, do you know why I came to America?".

He just stared at me, he attempted to speak but something stopped him I'm not sure what.

"Tell me", he simply said.

"For half my life I watched my mother struggle after my father died. She did everything in her power to send me to school and ensure I was never hungry with the little we had. And all she ever asked of me was to make her proud and I did just that I was at the top of every class I got a scholarship for college. Graduated with honors, got my first great paying job I also got a car and moved us to a better neighborhood, apparently not a good enough neighborhood because we could still hear gunshots on most nights".

"My only job was to repay her for everything she did for me, for the nights she went to bed hungry so I could eat. I work my ass off so she never has to struggle like that ever again, that's my definition of making her proud".

"I came here with the idea of not going back home because in the midst of making her proud I lost myself so I decided to come here for a fresh start , become I don't know, someone like you. The freedom that wealth gives you to do whatever you want and to take care of your family that's all I've ever wanted".

"That way I can show her that I can do all this on my own , that I can give her everything and more if she would just let me".

By the time I was done I had already gone through two and a half glasses of wine.

He just stood there genuinely listening, which I appreciated.

"But since I've been here, I've managed to gain hatred from my superiors and fall for my bosses, bosses boss". I laughed bitterly.

His face lit up with I don't know pride?, at the mention of me falling for him.

"But the thing is, this isn't a fairytale Bray this is real life and the reality is I've just started my career. And it's way too early to fuck it up, yes my boss is absolutely correct I have been distracted".

"Because honestly I've never been in a relationship before and I've never had to experience compassion or love from anyone but my mom. And I didn't have a father to show me either".

"So when you came along and started to be all these things I've always fantasized about, of course I dived in without knowing how deep these type of feelings goes".

"When I'm with you I don't use my brain, and right now I need it. It's what brought me this far and you've already accomplished so much in life and by what I've heard you were able to use your brain".

"So I ask you please allow me to use mine, I need to be focused bray", I whispered my last sentences completely drained from today.

"Okay", he said simply.

That's it?

I just gave a whole acceptance speech and all he has to say is okay?

This is what you asked for.

The voice in the back of my mind reminds me.

Shut up.

Engrossed in my own thoughts, I didn't see him coming closer to me.

He gently placed his hand on my cheek. "I' don't want to be a distraction, if you believe you're future is better off without me in it then so be it, goodnight Jeminye".

Oh.

Okay he's giving me what I want.

"By the way, this may not help seeing that my wealth is always used against me but I was never employee of the month and look where I am now".

"It's not always about how you start, it's what you've learned along the way and how you finish, remember that". He said as he opened the door and left.

Suddenly the atmosphere was filled with an obvious silence.

I took my glass of wine and started to head up the flight of stairs slowly seeing that I was a little tipsy, as soon as I entered my room it hit me.

He gave me what I wanted.

Suddenly tears just started to flow uncontrollably, I got what I wanted and it was the right decision.

So why does it hurt.