And This One's For You (Moulin Rouge)

6. Rehearsal

Christian's POV:

Once everyone had calmed down after Violet agreed to stay with us, Toulouse runs over to her holding a script. I look down at the woman beside me, such a graceful and elegant character, her features almost perfect. Stop! Just stop thinking this way. You only get one soulmate, right? Satine was mine, perhaps will always be mine.

"Christian! Your script." Toulouse tries to pass me a script of my own.

"I'm not...I never said I was also taking part." I say. I haven't performed or even rehearsed one of Toulouse's plays since Satine died. Everything about the drama, the music, it all reminds me of her and sends me into an uncontrollable spiral of grief and alcohol. "You know I haven't participated in any plays since...well, when the Moulin Rouge closed down."

"Come on Christian, it will be fun! I've joined. Perhaps it's time to get back on the horse." Violet says excitedly, her eyes full of hope. My grief tries to hold me back, the thought of performing again without Satine holds me down. But these eyes, these innocent bright eyes takes away my pain and grief for just a short moment. It feels as though she is bringing me back to the living, her soul saving me from the anger and despair I live with every day. Perhaps this may not be the worst thing in the world.

"You wrote the script Christian! It's only fair that you play in it too." Toulouse says. I think a little more, wondering if it will save me or just break me even more. I take a deep breath, trying to push away all my negative thoughts to the back of my head.

"Ok." I say, a little smile forming on my face. I watch as Violet jumps up with glee, her hand placing itself on my arm in a kind of 'well done' sort of way. Her touch is soft and comforting.

"Ok, places people, places!" Toulouse shouts, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. He grabs Violet's hand and drags her over to the set design, moving her into a position. He makes her stand on a stool, placed underneath a light, which Toulouse uses as the sun in the set. The light causes her to glow, standing out in the room. The light exemplifying her natural beauty, like a red rose in a field of thorns. Like luminous purple violets, a unique flower unlike the rest of the standard and simple flowers. "Just read the lines for 'Woman' for me. We haven't picked a name for the character yet." Toulouse orders as he walks over to me. "I need you to stand just by the stool, so you can look up at her" I nod my head at Toulouse before making my way over to the set. Violet has begun silently reading, wrapping her head around the foundations of the play. I had written this play for Toulouse a few months back, imagining how everything would have been like if I had met Satine much earlier. We would still have our troubled past, but we may have overcome the struggles a lot earlier and I would have had more time with her. Perhaps I could've prevented her from contracting tuberculosis.

"Action!" Toulouse calls out. Violet begins to read her lines, trying to put some emotion and feeling into what she is saying. She's a natural! Everything looks so authentic, as if she is living the play herself. We run through a few pages of the script, myself finding my feet with acting once again.

"But how can I love you when everything in the universe is telling me that we shouldn't be together?" she asks, reading the line from the script.

"Love is messy and it is chaotic, but it is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is magical. Everyone should have it, feel it. All you need is love!" I say this line with deep meaning and passion, a line I write one sober night when I was thinking about Satine. The night I convinced her that she too could love me back, and that it was ok to love someone.

"But you can't love me, nor can I love you. Our past denies it, will stop us from being together. My grief and your grief put together will become too much."

"But how do you know? How can you see into the future and say we wouldn't work, that our souls will die from being together?"

"Because I have seen it, first hand. I have witnessed love slowly drown someone in the abyss of alcohol, grief and despair. I have seen love not being enough to save the most perfect soul on the universe. Love can never be enough."

I remove my eyes from the script. Violet's line, I did not write. I look up to her, a single tear in her eye. She improvised that line, a line she conjured up from the emotions of her heart. The room remains silent, as all of my friends look at Violet in shock, unsure of what to do or say. I try to say something, but words just don't leave my mouth. Violet looks around the room, confused at all the faces staring at her. She looks back down at the script, to which her eyes widen with surprise and fear. She realises her line wasn't in the script.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I just got a little too carried away, I do truly apologise." Her voice sounds slightly shaky, full of embarrassment and humiliation.

"I liked it. Toulouse! Add that into the script. It was...it was perfect." I say looking up at the young woman on the stool. She smiles, still looking quite uncomfortable. I reach my hand to caress her arm, trying to ease her unease. "It's ok, you're doing great." I whisper to her. She nods slowly before looking back down on the script, picking up where we all left off.

The rehearsal continues for a little while, Toulouse trying to make me change my outfit multiple times to try and find the right fit for the role. The sun begins to set outside in the streets of the Montmartre district, all seeming peaceful and quiet compared to the chaos in here.

"And now, Christian, you must take Violet's hand to help her down, to which we shall rehearse the passionate kiss between the two lovers." Toulouse says in his best director accent. My eyes widen, we're moving on to the kissing scene already? Violet is taken aback, to which she loses her balance. The stool begins to wobble quite aggressively, causing her to loose her footing and fall towards the ground. My quick reflexes catches her, stopping her from hitting the floor. I hold her for a few moments in my eyes, with relief that I have just saved her from getting hurt. Violet looks at me, her eyes fixed on to mine. My breathing becomes slow and shallow, my heartbeat slowing down. Everything around me fades, leaving just me and Violet alone together. I feel a sudden twisting motion in the pit of my stomach. Butterflies? I begin to feel the urge to kiss her soft red lips, but Violet begins to get back up on her feet, brushing any creases from her dress.

"Thank you Christian." She says, her eyes now trying to avoid mine. I try to give her a warm smile, but I can't stop thinking that I have made her feel too uncomfortable. This is unlike me, to want to kiss such a beautiful woman, to forget about Satine and want to pursue something with another. "It's getting quite late. Perhaps we should call it a day and resume all practice tomorrow? I am quite tired. Today has been a lot. So I bid you all goodnight." Violet says, removing me from my thoughts.

"Of course, yes!" I say after. "We shall reconvene tomorrow. Everyone, this is already coming together quite nicely." I walk over to the bench to pick up my jacket. I place it over me and I am hit with the smell of Violet. I realise it is the same jacket I wrapped around her when I carried her to my apartment the previous night. The rosy, flowery smell reminds of spring. It brings me some comfort and warmth and is also relaxing to my body. I feel a hard sensation from below me, myself throbbing to be touched.

"Christian? Are you coming?" Violet calls to me, waving me over. I compose myself, trying not to look completely obvious of my sexual desire to my friends. I quicken my walking pace to catch up with Violet who is beginning to walk down the hallway, her dress swaying just above her feet, her hair now beginning to fall out of the bun she did this morning. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down my urge, and make my way to my apartment, to which I shall share properly with Violet.