(OMFG JUST SO Y'ALL KNOW WARNING FOR SELF HARM)
So, I've been awakened for around five months.
It's been very hard knowing I can never be my cat or maybe pterodactyl form again.
I actually had a mental shift today!
But that's not the topic, is it...?
I was having a breakdown about how angry and sad I was I could never be my animal form again. (This happened a few days ago) I was angrily clawing and punching a pillow when a thought went into my head.
'What if I... self harm?' (Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no)
My mind was half opposed to the idea, but half was agreeing. Few days later, (today) and I've been at war in my mind, all day.
I go to honor choir on Tuesdays, it's a Tuesday. We are in the middle of class. I find a pencil. I see it has its eraser pulled out and the metal part was almost off. I decided to pull the metal piece off. (You know where it's going... don't you.)
I went to the bathroom. Thankfully, there was nobody there at the moment. I went into a stall. I pulled up my sleeve. I dragged the folded metal eraser bit across my forearms. I cut small lines, long lines, deep lines, shallow lines, all types. I even did some on my right thigh, too. (I don't know why I only did my right thigh, but I did.)
It felt therapeutic! My mind went at peace from me doing it.
After I got out of honor choir, it was a bit hard to hide my wrists. It's summer, so it's just foolish to wear long sleeved shirts and pants. I tried and thankfully succeeded. Right now I'm in bed writing this at 10:03 PM!
The end. (Please don't hate I'm telling you secrets I've told literally nobody else 🥲)
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🌱 Crystal's Therian Diary/Journal 🌱
Non-ficțiuneONLY ON WATTPAD I'm a Black cat and crow therian. I'm questioning also being a ginger cat though! This diary shares my struggles and stuff with being a therian. It will mostly tell experiences I have (like shifts, problems, etc...) Sorry I have not...
