OUR LITTLE INFINITY

CHAPTER 16

12 MONTHS LATER

i had topped my first year with 92% and i was not only the topper of my class but of my university. i was happy. i had finally accepted that varun is, was and will be with me in spirit always, and he will keep on showering love and blessings on me from heaven. as i would be honored with a gold medal, i had to deliver a speech on stage. i had invited nidhi and ansh as well for this ceremony. i just had one night to prepare what to speak and i had no clue about it. rather than thinking about it, i was thinking about varun. i sometimes used to go to my terrace and search for varun in the stars. and yeah, i sometimes did find him, and when i did, i used to talk to him. even nidhi and ansh used t do this and they found it peaceful, the distance felt less. only difference was that now he wouldn't reply back. that was the worst part. i can't figure out what hurt me more, talking to him, or not talking to him. suddenly, i knew what i wanted to say the next day in speech.

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'Let's give it up for....aarushi nandi' the host said and the auditorium echoed with claps.

i walked up the stairs and adjusted the mike.

'my sincere gratitude to each one of you who is present over here and is listening to me. ahh, what do i say, to be very honest, this feeling is unexplainable, but this is the feeling i have been working hard for, this is the feeling i have gone sleepless study nights for, this is the feeling i have made so many sacrifices for. my gratitude to our director Mr. manoj mahtolia, my class teachers reena maam, akshay sir, dev sir, vaani maam, and all the teachers without whom this medal would've just been a dream to me. my special thanks to my mother, whom i have fought with and fought for. again a special thanks and my apology to my friends whom i have always lied about not being prepared enough to pass but then ended up being a ranker. especially to my two besties, ansh and nidhi. and last but not the least..' my throat chocked 'my special person, my bestie, my go to boy, my everything, varun malhotra. you are not there with us right now, but may you be happy wherever you are. this medal is dedicated to you, you and just you. if not for you, i wouldn't be standing here. thank you. i have written a poem for you, and with the due permission of the esteemed people in front of me, i would like to say it.' i said and opened the letter which i had prepared.

COME WITH ME

god saw you getting tired,
and a cure was not to be,
so he put his arms around you,
and whispered come with me

with tearful eyes he watched you,
and saw you fade away,
although i loved you with all i had,
we couldn't make you stay

a golden heart stopped beating,
your tender hands at rest,
god took you his home to prove us
he only takes the best.

it felt like the longest poem ever. my nose turned pink but i managed myself and said 'varun, i can never have you back, but wherever you are, keep spreading smiles and laughter. i, love, you....thank you for....our..little infinity!'

no claps. i watched a few people in auditorium wiping their faces and nose. my eyes searched for ansh and nidhi. they too were crying and rubbing their noses. there was a pin drop silence. suddenly i looked at maa. she covered her face in her palloo and the lady sitting next to her kept her hand on her shoulder. varun, what did you do? you made s many peple emotional, sweetheart!!

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i was sitting in my room when there was a knock at door. it was 2 in the noon. i was reading a book. I said "come in"
Mom entered in with a pink nose and crying eyes. I sat upright and asked "what happened mumma?"
She broke down even more.
"Mumma??" I asked again
She just hugged me, handed over a letter to me and went away.
I opened it

'Aaru i am not a good writter like you, but all i want to say is sorry. Sorry for everything. I didn't know someone would mean so much to you. All i wanted was that you should achieve your dreams. Your speech touched my heart today. I did not know that taking you away from him would hurt you so much. the smile on your face while talking about him is so different. i am sorry for being so strict that you couldn't even love me. yes, goals are important but so is your smile. today, i saw my daughter crying for her love. i can feel the suffocation you would have been through. i can not bring your varun back, but if i can do anything to prove myself as a good mother, do tell me. i love you.

ma'

tears flew from my eyes as i read this. i went straight upto her room as i read this. she looked at me with tear filled eyes. we both hugged eachother.

'sorry beta....sorry..' she said

'no maa...your intentions were never wrong...it was just your methods.' i said

'go aarushi. do what makes you feel better. leave everything and enjoy! celebrate! do whatever you want, i wont stop you!' she said

'can i sleep in your lap peacefully ? please?' i asked for what i wanted to do since so many years.