what's it gonna be? | Tina Cohen Chang

▷| 4x18 - Shooting Star

A/N: Trigger warning - School Shooting

┏━━━━━━┓

"I hold in my hand, ladies and gentlemen, our competition for regionals." Mr Schue announced, sending all of us into celebration. "Drumroll please."

He started to rip the envelope apart to reveal the letter. "From... North Central High School in Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies."

"That's very clever." Tina laughed at the pun of a name. It wasn't saying much considering our name...

"And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan, the Nun-Touchables." Mr Schue finished off.

"Wait is that a convent?" Blaine asked.

"Now, guys, I like our chances against both these squads, but we got a lot of work to do." Mr Schue reminded us.

"Mr Schue please stop talking. I have an announcement." Brittany cut him off. "I regret to inform you, a deadly asteroid is headed our way." Brittany told us.

"Wait, Didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" I mentioned.

"Yeah, and is it true you and Sam got married?" Tina questioned. "Did that happen?"

"Shut up, Tina." Brittany shushed her. "I naming this this comet 'Tubbington-Bopp' and it is headed straight for Lima. "

"Wait. So is it asteroid or a comet?" Artie asked.

"It's both." Brittany answered.

"Wouldn't NASA know something about this?" Marley mentioned.

"We can't trust NASA. I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp, hit Russia with no warning at all." Brittany informed us.

"Oh, so now it's a meteor?" Artie speculated.

"That's right Artie and when this meteor hits, I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with." Brittany told us. We all turned our heads toward Sam. "Somebody who I love very much. Lord Tubbington."

"So go back to your homes, and hide your wife. Hide your kids and hide your wife, Claude I'm talking to you." Brittany warned me, which was odd considering I wasn't married. "McKinley high, I salute you." Brittany just got up and left.

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

"Do you think God will let me be a God angle in heaven?" Unique questioned, strutting into the room.

"Wait. There are girl and boy angles? Does that mean you can have angel sex?" Sam questioned further.

"I don't think I'll make it into heaven." I tried to answer his question in this the most generic way possible.

"All right. Show of hands. Who's worried about Brittany's meteor-asteroid-comet prediction?" Mr Schue wondered, taking a seat at the back of the choir room. Only Sam raised his hand.

"Okay. Well, here's how I see it." Mr Schue continued. "There are two possible outcomes. First, the meteor misses us and we go to regionals, and we kick butt, which will only happen if we prepare. Or, we only have a few days left to live." He paused.