Talk to Me, Princess | Marichat - Miraculous Ladybug

Chapter Four - Spontaneous

I lay in bed thinking about the day I just had with Adrien. I look at my phone, seeing the text come in from Alya. I sent her a message giving her the gist of what happened today.

Alya<3333: GIRL ARE YOU KIDDING?! YOU HAD A DATE WITH ADRIEN? ADRIEN FREAKING AGRESTE?!?!?!?!
Me: Alya, it wasn't a date. It was a spontaneous hang out since a certain best friend of mine ditched me.
Alya<3333: YOU MANAGED TO CALL HIM AND ASK HIM OUT THATS AMAZING WTF
Me: Okay okay, you got all the details, I'm tired and going to get some sleep. Goodnight, love you <3
Alya<3333: You're literally so evil
Alya<3333: Ugh
Alya<3333: I need more details eventually but fine
Alya<3333: I'm proud of you though, fr. Get some good sleep, love you too<333333

I look over at that picture of Adrien and I, smiling to myself. I guess it was pretty impressive, all things considered. I didn't even make much of a fool out of myself. I suppose I could do this a lot more often, right? Maybe every now and then throughout the school year, get some more chances to get close to Adrien. Maybe then I can find the courage to confess how I feel about him before we graduate.

I deserve to get that closure, especially after all of these years. I want to tell him that I love him, that my heart burns for him and him alone. That I ache when he's not around, and feel like I'm high on love when he's next to me. That the only thing that exists when we're together is him, that all I can see in a crowded room will be him. Always, my Adrien.

If I said all of that to him, he'd probably look at me like I've grown horns and never want to speak to me again.

As thoughts race through my head on all the things that could go wrong with confessing my love to Adrien, I start to think about how little time I have left with him. How little time I have left with all my close friends before we part ways after high school. College, what am I going to do about that? How can I even go to college as Ladybug? What if an Akuma alert happened in the middle of an important exam, I couldn't just be like "Oh, professor! Please pardon me, I'm actually the very famous Ladybug, and I need to go fight that akuma and save Paris!" That would never work. I'll forever have to put Paris' needs before my own.

The alternative to that is giving up Tikki. No longer getting to transform and be my favourite version of myself. I wouldn't be able to help people, and stay with Chat Noir. I don't think I could handle losing any of that.

The thoughts swirl in my head like an impeding storm, thunderclouds looming in my mind with vicious winds and torrential downpour incoming.

I make my way out onto the balcony, the night breeze flowing my dress around my legs. I take it in, the gentleness of the air.

"Marinette, want to go on patrol?" Tikki pipes up, looking around herself. I shake my head, smiling at my little kwami.

"No, it's okay Tikki. I just want some fresh air. I think everything is fine." Tikki snuggles up close to me, and I pat her small head. She's the sweetest little friend anyone could ask for. The idea that one day I might have to give her up for good makes my heart twist in ways I've never felt before.

"You have a lot on your brain, Marinette. Why don't you come inside, get some cozy sleep wear on, and we can watch a movie?" I stare at my little kwami, feeling so much love for her. It's this love that makes me so scared to lose her one day.

There must be a reason I'm feeling this way, why can't I just be happy in the moment? Just like Chat Noir said, no one knows whats going to happen in the future, so worrying about it just ruins my peace now.

"I think I just want some alone time, Tikki. Everything is okay, I promise. I'll come inside soon, alright?" Tikki frowns, nodding her head before heading back inside. I spend some time looking out into my city once again. No akumas, no disturbances. Just peace. A few people are out walking, some cars are driving on the roads, but everything is quiet.