Show me how

chapter 7

Y/N POV:

I listened as Dean told Sam a about meeting their mom and and how she was hunter. I couldn't relate since I never knew mine and definitely felt left out of the conversation.

"Sis, you ok back there?" Dean asked

I just nodded and played with my boot strings.

"We gotta talk this out y/n," Sam sighed

"Not now Sam," I mumbled

"Yes now or else we'll never get it out in the open so I'll just speak first ok? I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you the way I did and I'm sorry I left but you gotta understand I was hurting," Sam tried to reason with me

"Like I wasn't? Like I didn't lose him too? Like the only other man in my life that actually gave a shit about and kept me safe didn't die in front of me?" I argued back

"I didn't mean it that way," he tried again

"I get it Sam, dad beat it in to me along time ago, I'm not a true Winchester, my feelings don't matter and I'll always be a burden trust me I fuckin get, so if you'll excuse me, I'm exhausted from listening to you to bitch at each other like a couple of women and I need a nap, so nobody say another fuckin word or so help me God, I'll jump out of this moving car," my voice was strained by the end of my rant

Thankfully, they were stunned enough to keep silent and let me go to sleep.

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"We need to talk," Dean told me the following day

Sam was in the bathroom at the diner we had stopped at for food, luckily not too far from the room we got. Dean sat me by the window and trapped me in the booth.

"Dean, I'd rather not," I sighed, already over my freak out from the night before

"No, listen to me. Dad was a horrible man and an even worse father. He was never there for us when we really needed him and I guess I tried to step into his shoes as much as I could while still being your big brother. You're not a mistake and you're no less a Winchester than Sam or me. You still have the fighting blood running through your veins and I have to believe that you were left with us for a reason, I may not know what it is or will I ever but I do know, that no matter what, no matter if someone tries to come between all of us, I love you both. You're my little sister, half or not," by the end of his speech, I had tears in my eyes

He seen them and wrapped his arms around me, despite his no chick flicks moments rule and hugged me tight, my head resting on his chest.

"Also, Sam told me what happened, I'll admit I'm pissed but you need to talk to him sissy," he urged as he let me go

"If you say so," I rolled my eyes

"I'm the big brother, it's always my say so," he smirked

"What's your say so?" Sam asked and sat down across from us

"Nothing, I gotta hit the head, I'll be back," he gave me a secret wink

I shook my head and rubbed my temples at his subtle, not so subtle, attempt to get Sam and I to talk. Sam quickly jumped up and slid into the booth beside me, clearing his throat and turning to face me.

"Sis, please, I'm sorry," his voice was tearful almost

"I know bam, I know," I gave him back his nickname

Dean said it was my second word, after bean of course and he told me how Sam lite up like a Christmas tree and dad went on a drinking binge that night.

"Do you forgive me?" He tried