you are safe with me

chapter two

jules's pov

i woke up by little hands on my face
i don't love it but it's her way to show me love

ellie: momma, momma please wate up
sun shi-ing ou-ide ( momma, momma, please wake up the sun is shining outside )

she said with her baby voice

me: baby I love you so much but I told you a hundred times that I don't like being touched in the face when i'm sleeping
it's not nice

ellie: momma i sorry I ove u too
u give me? ( momma i'm sorry I love you too can u forgive me? )

me: yea baby i can forgive you but you have to give me a big hug

she gave me a big hug and we cuddled for about 1 hour and she feel asleep again

i was already late so i run to the bathroom to get ready

i showered myself as fast as I could

i did a quick and light make up

then I put a floral dress, a beige denim jacket and some random shoes

then I picked my daughter from the bed
i changed her diaper

i put her a white sweatshirt with a cute bunny and a plaid skirt, some white thights and black ballerina shoes

I love dressing her it feels like i'm healing my inner child

after that I ate some soft cookies and I packed ellie the cookies and boxed milk
I prepared her lunch wich consists in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some veggies on the side and a bit of ranch and some strawberries

i take my daughter in my arms and I put her gently in the car so I don't wake her

it takes me 20 minutes to get at the hospital

me: elly bear you need to wake up we arrrived at the hospital

ellie: momma me sleepy ( momma i'm still sleepy )

me: baby I know but I need to work

ellie: otay can u cary me ( can u carry me ?)

me: sure baby

i entered the building and I bumped into a person
my daughter started to cry

me: baby are u okay?

ellie: I hurt ( i'm hurt )

me: where?

ellie: sho-der ( shoulder )

me: baby you are gonna be fine I promise

I kissed her shoulder to make her feel better

ellie: now me be-tt ( now i'm feeling better )

me: see I told you baby

ellie: i not baby mommy ( i'm not a baby mommy )

me: oh yea sure you are a big girl now

then I looked up and saw the person in front of me

he was the person i fucked a few days ago and it was so akward

link: you have a daughter? why you didn't tell me ?

me: why would i tell you? we only did adults things
there were no feelings
you are nothing and always be nothing

link: what if u get pregnant

me: did you not use condoms?

link: yea I did

me: and I took the pill so there is no way that I will be pregnant
and if I was
i will not keep it

link: don't u dare talking to me like this i'm your boss

my daughter was now crying because she was scared by his loud voice

me: thank you now my daughter is crying because of you

link: bulshit if you didn't bump into me we wouldn't talking like this

me: go to hell link and I mean it

and then i walked away with a crying baby
good way to start the day

me: baby you are safe now he is not here
i'm here

ellie: momma me sca-ed ( momma i'm scared )

me: yea I know but i'm here and I will hug you until you are no more sad ok?

ellie: ok momma

after a few minutes she stopped crying
and I took her to the daycare
the teachers were so nice

my daughter was excited to go play eith other kids

then the chief approaced to me

richard: you are millin right?

me: yea that's me why?

richard: you are the most young intern in this hospital
one of the most intelligent
you have a perfect G.P.A
it's a honour to have you here

me: thanks a lot i'm happy to give this impression

then I walked to the O.R where doctor wilson will be having the speech

she opened the door and I was speechless it was so beautiful
all the medical equipment
i was excited to begin to this journey

jo: Each of you comes here today hopeful,

wanting in on the game.

A month ago, you were in med school being taught by doctors.

Today... you are the doctors.

The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident

will be the best and worst of your life.

You will be pushed to the breaking point.

Look around you. Say hello to your competition.

Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty.

Five will crack under the pressure.

Two of you will be asked to leave.

This is your starting line.

This is your arena.

How well you play, that's up to you

then I went in the locker room when I changed in my scrub
and it felt so good

i was finally a doctor after all the hard work, all the pain, all the sacrifices
all the tears, all the panic attacks

it was all worth it

i kept the promise i made to my now dead girlfriend
we wanted to be doctors so bad
it was our dream

the day before her death she confessed that she had a cancer and it was terminal
and she knew it was her last day on heart and she wanted to spend all the time that she had with me

she made me promise her to pursue her dream to became a doctor and maybe find a cure for her type of cancer

we bought ice cream, we had a lot of fun and then to end the day with beautiful memories

we had sex, she was so good at that

that was the last time that i enjoyed sex with someone and it was 6 years ago

the next day I woke up and she was dead
in my bed
i started to cry histerically
i was breathing bad
and I had a panic attack

after a few hours I managed to calm down and call 911
i was still in shock for what happened

the police arrived and i explained what happened

they took her body and I was alone

that day I tried to kill myself
i took some pills mixed with some alchol
but it didn't work

thankfully i'm still alive

i named my daughter after her middle name wich is eleanor