𝐁𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 | 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍

041.

(BITCHES BROKEN HEARTS— BILLIE EILISH)

❝DO I LEAVE?❞

TODAY was Delina's last day in London before she went back to Paris. And although she was excited to be back with Kylian and be back "home" a part of her felt uneasy.

It's like a big wound she tried her best to stitch up and close had re-opened and now blood was overflowing out of it.

Richarlison's surprise appearance was not expected at all. Seeing him again re-opened that wound for certain but him confessing to her that he loved her was the final nail in the coffin.

She didn't even know how she was meant to process that information. And she was upset with herself for handling the situation the way she did but she panicked. She was scared and didn't want to be in the position she was in before, which was her being left heartbroken.

Richarlison was all that was on her mind since Saturday. She had cried all night that night and had awoken to him on her mind all day today.

She felt guilty. Thinking about him when she was in a relationship, one where she was so happy. He shouldn't have even been in her thoughts. But she knew that feelings and emotions didn't work like that.

One thing richarlison had said last night was right though. Love was the hardest feeling to shake.

"You okay?" Lani asked, sensing that Delina was upset. Her head was turned in the direction of the tv but she wasn't watching it.

"What?" Delina didn't even hear her question. She was zoned out in a world of her own.

"I asked if you're okay." Lani reiterated

"Oh. Yeah." Delina nodded but it was very unconvincing for Lani. She knew her best friend.

All Lani had to do was give Delina a look, showing she didn't buy it for Delina to start telling her how she really felt.

"Do I leave?" Delina asked.

"If I leave, I don't think I'll ever come back. I think that will be it. Of course I'll come and see you guys but Paris will be my home." Delina shared.

"But...If I stay...." She trailed off.

"If you stay?" Lani asked

"See. I don't know. Why would I stay?" Delina held her head in her hands.

"You know why Dels." Lani touched her shoulder supportively.

She looked up at Lani. "Is it worth staying here for something that's not guaranteed?"

"I don't want to get hurt again." She looked down. Tears pricking her eyes.

"That's the scary thing about love. You have to take a chance on it. Without knowing if it will work out." Lani held Delina's hand.

"I wish this shit was easier." She laughed. Resting her head on Lani's shoulder.

"You and me both!" Lani chuckled. Kissing the top of Delina's head.

Richarlison knew she had left. He didn't need to see her instagram story to find out. He just knew. And that broke him. Because he felt like he had lost her all over again. The same feeling of all hope being lost and knowing he would never see her again, returning.

He didn't regret anything though. Leaving his heart on his sleeve and all. He needed to do that. For so long he had been battling his feelings for her. Pushing them down to make them into nothing because he thought that was what he needed to do.

It was relieving for him to get them out. For her to actually hear them. Even if she didn't believe him. It felt good for him. He felt free.

He didn't know what to do now though. When she had left the first time, his life had quite literally stopped. It's like she ran away to Paris and took his heart and his mind with her. Leaving him incapable of doing anything.

He knew now that he had to move on. Life couldn't stop because she was gone. If he let it, he would never get over her. Not that getting over her would ever be something that was possible. Losing her would be a permanent scar on his heart. But he had to try and move forward little by little.

All the same feelings came rushing back to her when she returned back to the airport she had once arrived at 6 months ago.

All of a sudden she was back at the night she had left. Her heart aching again as much as it was when she was about to leave.

Her phone was out, her thumb hesitating over Richarlison's contact. Part of her wanting to unblock him. Call him and speak to him one last time. She decided against it though. If she heard his voice for even one second, she may not have gotten onto that plane.

Sighing she switched off her phone. Pocketing it. Holding her suitcase firmly she wheeled it beside her as she walked into the airport. For the last time.

— love writing sad
chaptersssss.

- mason story is coming
Out first and then I
have a Kylian one
that I'm going to write
and maybe a Jude one :)