Dance For Me

Chapter 5

Camila

My body ached after last night's rehearsal in which Lauren arrived with more than a few choice words. I couldn't really understand what she was trying to tell me, other than that I needed to find what corrupted my mental health the most. Honestly I was confused, her proximity to me so close yet so far, I missed her and hated her equally

She watched my entire performance in silence, just as I did to her the night before. I didn't know if she enjoyed it or not given her blank expression, it was almost as if she was entirely disconnected. She wanted nothing to do with me but chose to hang around and give me advice anyway

"Camila, you're a little late?" Spoke Lena as I approached the outside coffee shop just opposite the academy, my unfortunately tall security guard wondering inside to grab a drink

"Sorry" I smiled "Late night"

Lena smiled back and pulled up a chair for me to sit in "No problem darling, I'm glad you came to meet with me" she began "How are you finding being away from home?"

I shrugged my shoulders slightly "Peaceful" the curve in her brow signalled me to find a better answer "It's just nice not having to worry about what my dad is gonna say next, you know?"

"He doesn't agree with your decision in pursuing dance, is that what bothers you?" She asked gently, careful not to overstep the mark "I know it did in the past"

I nodded back with a look into the table before a warm hand slid over my knuckles "It's good to know Camila. Parents struggle sometimes to understand their children's dreams"

"Can we stop calling them that?" I mumbled under my breath "Parents.."

Lena gasped quietly "Yes, of course! I get that your relationship has taken a hit recently" she reasoned "I'm extremely proud of you for making the decision that was best for you, it seems to me that it's working out great"

I shook my head and laughed sarcastically "Not really" I admit "My boss hates me, only wants to make sure I become elite enough to stay in the academy" my chest tightened as I opened up about Lauren's new attitude "I messed everything up again!"

Lena held tighter into my hand as I shook my head in disappointment "You haven't messed anything up Camila, you never have!"

"No?" I laughed "Take a good look at my life Lena! All I ever did was mess things up, now here I am again, ruining the greatest opportunity I have ever been granted"

"I disagree" she spat with authority "Your life, the circumstances you have faced? None of that was your fault! I agree it hurts, but nothing you could have done would have changed the way you grew up!"

I hated this topic, I remember when I was younger having to have these conversations with Lena in the back of a library because I didn't live anywhere for long enough to feel comfortable talking. Even now, the subject made my skin crawl

"Whatever, it doesn't matter" I sighed "I really did mess up with Lauren though"

Lena cocked her head to the side "Go on?"

"I was having a hard time, getting angry and feeling worthless" I began, avoiding eye contact at all costs "She acted like she cared about me and tried to make me feel good, I just couldn't handle it" I paused "I was too insecure to believe that she meant it? It was tearing me apart and so I told her it was done, whatever it was we had"

Lena smiled softly "How do you feel about that now? Your decision?"

"Awful" I chuckled "I miss her, it's like I can feel her but she's nowhere close! The smell of her perfume, the warmth of her hug?" My heart ached "She wants nothing to do with me now, her attitude has changed and I can't figure out how to make it right"