𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐄𝐒 - Ethan Landry

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈

┌── •✧• ──┐

❝ 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝚰𝐋 ❞

└── •✧• ──┘

MAX POV

trigger warning for panic attack,
disassociation and drinking

please read the author
notes at the end of the chapter

shit, why did i come with Tara

my head was banging, I grab the closest
thing near me which accidentally ended
up being abunch of other uni students
who stare and laugh when i look
up to make eye contact cause to be honest
i feel like i'm about to throw up
and melt everywhere, and i probably
look like it as well

"sorry i'm sorry"
i sob out to the people i'd kept bumping into, holding my stomach. i just wanted to go home and rip off this stupid fairy costume, i hate the
way the fabric felt, the music was too loud,
people are laughing at me and i'm drunk
out of my fucking mind. 

I try to find Jay, pushing through the crowd,
i just need to find someone in a skeleton
costume, and Jay can take me home
and everything will be ok.

i feel my chest ache

am i shaking?

i squeeze the red solo cup in my hand
and it bends and breaks i walk backwards to find a wall hopefully ,

i hold out my hands,

i'm definitely shaking

and i do the last thing i'd ever want to do right now, my vision gets blurry and i begin to cry.
i can't find anybody, Chad, Anika and Mindy
we're on the couch the last time i saw them
but i have zero fucking clue where i'm at
right now.

I try to catch my breath, but i just can't.
my mouth feels dry and suddenly i can't walk,
or function, or do anything

"jesus, Max hey are you ok?"

someone says in an equally shaky tone
but i can't, i can't look up,
all i can do is stare at the floor and i
accidentally drop my red solo cup, spilling
alcohol all over myself

"i can't i can't"
i cry out and my breathing is shaky,
it's like the air in my chest is fighting
for everything to leave but something
is refusing to let it out

whoever was speaking to me previously had placed their hands on my arm
"let's go outside, i got you"
i grab their arm and squeeze the
fabric of their costume, hoping it not hurting
them or freaking them out so much.
they begin to push through the crowd
"scuze me, shit, sorry, sorry"
i hear them murmur and quickly pushing
people out the way

i make sure to keep close, as they're
holding me up with their arm and
i aggressively hold onto them,

this isn't real this isn't real
just wake up and you'll be ok,
go to bed go to bed