Doing It All For Love

36.

I woke up in the middle of the night East was gone.

I looked around the empty room and then at my naked body. I sighed and eased out of bed.

I don't know why I even came here.

I just fucked East.

I slid my shorts on and threw his tshirt back on.

I grabbed my stuff and headed to the front. I'll text Kairi in the morning I needed to go. The sun was coming up a little I didn't even check the time.

It was almost 6.

I got in my car and just pulled off.

I cracked the window just trying to breath and clear my head. My life has done a full flip and I still don't know what do Honesty want?

I pulled up at the hospital for some reason.

I know it's early but I needed my best friend for real.

I got out. "Goodmorning Honesty." The ladies said as I walked in. "Goodmorning. Is it too early to see Malaysia?"

"You know we got you. Go ahead up." I smiled. "Thank y'all."

I took the elevator up and walked to her room number. I walked in and she was still just laying there. I couldn't help but drop a tear.

I closed the door and turned the lights off.

"You mind if I sleep with you? I couldn't find rest where I was and if I go home I don't think I'll pull myself out that bed again." I said climbing in with her pulling the cover on us.

I laid on her chest.

"I miss you. World is crazy without you.

I'm just glad to still have you. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life like this.

I need you Lay.

I never realized how much I truly did.

Through it all you was there and now that you in this bed I cant figure anything out.

Apart of me feel like I'm settling." I said.

I rubbed her hand.

"East said losing my baby was for the best. That my baby wasn't the right timing and for a second I agreed but what if that's not how I feel Lay?

What if I wanna be a mother?

My whole life all I ever did was take care of myself, the foster kids, Myles, Kairi, and now East.

Having that baby would've made me the happiest I've been in my entire life and I think that's why it hurt so much." I wiped my tears that fell.

"Why do I make everybody happy but Honesty?"

I looked at her wishing she said something back. "I know you probably tired of hearing my problems especially compared to your position.

I'm sorry I really am sister." I kissed her cheek.

I just laid with her and tried to close my eyes. My mind was not at ease these demons was back and they are loud

I hated the way I was feeling man.
_____\_
Before I knew it I slept the whole day away. I heard her doctors coming in and out to check on her.

"Honesty?" I opened my eyes to see her dad.

"Hey dad." I hugged him.

"Hey baby girl. How long you been here?" I checked my phone it was 4 in the afternoon. "Since 6."