Memories Can Be Deceiving

Chapter 9

Kokichi couldn't tell if things were getting better or worse. He wouldn't be surprised if someone told him they were just becoming numb to it. He still didn't know when they'd get to leave. It really sucked. They'd finally been freed from that sick prison school only to be trapped in a hospital. It wasn't fair.

He and Kage were restless. He'd decided to use his partner's real name instead, despite their insistence that they liked being called Shuichi just as much. It felt weird, but it was for the best. He had a sneaking suspicion that they only said that because they thought he liked the idea of Shuichi better.

Kokichi was sick of white hospital walls, and white hospital floors, and white hospital beds. Why was everything white? Wouldn't that make it so much harder to clean? He didn't understand hospitals. He never wanted to be in a hospital again after this. He'd rather die than wake up from near death, or what seemed like death, in a white hospital room.

Watching TV didn't pass the time anymore. He couldn't focus, even though he really did try. Neither could Kage. They'd stare at the screen, and time would seem to slow down more than anything. They slept a lot, at least then the days would go quicker. Spending time with friends didn't even seem to mean much anymore, not when they were all so bored that all they could talk about was what they wanted to do when they got out. In a way, that made it even worse.

It had been two months since he'd woken up. It'd been one since Kaito got in trouble. He didn't know where he was, or when he'd be back. That was hard too.

Kokichi knew he was missing a part of himself. Kage knew it too. He didn't lie much anymore, he didn't crack jokes. He was quiet. He didn't think he could take another month of white hospital everything. They said they had to wait until everyone was stable. All waiting did was make things worse.

He cried a lot when things first started getting bad. Now he didn't cry at all. It seemed as pointless as everything else. He and Kage had tried to distract themselves with sex for a while, but even that soon stopped meaning anything.

There wasn't anything else to do but lie in each other's arms with the TV in the background so their minds weren't so loud and try not to let themselves think about how much easier it would be to just end it all.

He asked Kage for more stories. That was the only time they really looked happy. Kokichi never said it, but sometimes he wondered if he could ever make his partner happy like that. If nothing else, he wished he could just remember. Seeing Kage so weak and hopeless was the worst part of all.

"Kage."

"Yeah?"

"We have to go eat."

At the very least, they made sure to take care of each other, as best as they could. They showered, they ate, and they drank plenty of water. It was better than nothing.

"Limp-Dick!" Miu shouted as soon as they walked into the cafeteria. "Your boyfriend's back, I saw him go into his room earlier!"

Both of them perked up.

"Go on, I'm not sure if he'll want to see me." Kage tried to smile.

Kokichi kissed them on the cheek. "I'll be back, sit with the pig-faced prostitute until I come back, alright?" Hey, he still had the energy to insult his friend. If he didn't, that's when there'd definitely be a reason to worry.

Kage nodded, and Kokichi ran off.

He pounded on Kaito's door with more strength than he'd used in weeks. Which, to be fair, didn't mean much.

Unsurprisingly, Kaito had been expecting him, and the door opened soon after. "You look like shit." He sighed. "Well, come in."

Kokichi scoffed. "You don't look much better." He complied and crossed his arms. "Look, I wasn't able to explain things thoroughly last time. Kage isn't abusive. You just remembered stuff without context."