𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 : 4
18 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝
12 : 00
Different stages of anxiety;
Got to the cafe without finding the thing I am yet still looking for, check.
screams of joy from mister good boss, "nothing" harmful, check.
my fever got worse, check.
but I have brought my tablet with me, I thought of drawing again after a while
And that thought was my only source of sanity
I've neglected drawing after I've been told by the psychiatrist that it was a therapeutic session for me, but it consumed so much of my time hence I left it off
But,
that guy truly inspired me back to it last night,
besides he's really nice, although he doesn't say a word after he thanks me for the order, when he was about to leave he wished me a speedy recovery, which made me feel at ease and reassured
But there was no time for drawing after all,
customers were heavily raining,
it's Christmas soon and everyone's going back and forth on the road, that got me pressured and more anxious since the place is having more people than usual
I shook this anxiety off because I need this job, as I thanked god it went as hoped
and finally, everyone stopped coming at 3am
it's such a bizarre thing that happens nowadays, people stop coming after a certain time
but as much confusion as I am in, I'm very much thankful for it to be honest
I need rest and meditation through getting back to my only hobby besides smiling at strangers,
as I am sketching though, I'm still thinking of his artwork
it looked so beautiful to me, so dreamy and simple yet dark and regal.
a silhouette of a mermaid created by the risen sun, jumping freely off the surface of the beach
the deep, soft, and warm-toned colors he used were such a joy to the sight
After fifteen minutes of relaxation, and getting immersed into the sketch I've been making of what my mind was clinging to
I finally noticed him getting out of a luxuriously nice-looking car outside
it wasn't snowing as much so he was only wearing a lightweight coat and a scarf wrapped around his neck,
I sort of, and by that, I meant too much sort of liked his outfit, to the point that I wanted to take pictures of him or better,
sketch him
He entered the ringing bell door, got his case on the table, and came to the counter to order
it's the third night in a row and it's getting awkward for me to handle the situation, but I played it cool and pretended that it was the first time I see him, this professionalism was so fraudulent of me to myself
"Welcome, sir! What's your order?"
Being said with a grin on my face, then he smiled back
"The usual miss"
Spoken gently of him, and for the first time I got a good look at his face, he truly is very much pretty
he had such a noticeable mole under his left eye
I couldn't notice that before since my eyes are always implanted on the counter's screen
"Sure!"
I said as turned around awkwardly.
this time is a bit different for me because I've never encountered such situation
But now that I think about it..
it's a highway road,
with a cafe in the middle of nowhere, people get to this place mostly as a rest stop,
and I've never seen anyone more than twice as far as I can remember,
but He seems like he's stopping by as a routine.
He's doing his work here.
Isn't it questionable?
"Maybe I'm just overthinking it"
I said to the microwave that annoyedly stopped
"I shouldn't be judging people like this all the time get over it and focus"
I got him the order, he thanked me to head back to his seat
After he sat down, I got back to my seat and grabbed my tab in my arm, and the other is helping me sip on my mug
And The thoughts of guilt kept me company
I started to feel bad thinking that way about him
instead of actually feeling thankful that he stays in this place till I am departed
Yes I'd rather be alone, but having a person with you in a place that's surrounded by nothing but a dark void is reassuring
he doesn't talk whatsoever after the order, he's just so focused on his work which is great for me so I won't feel stalked by a gaze..
all these thoughts I had in mind that I didn't notice I sketched him on my tab,
I smiled,
and this time I genuinely smiled seeing my drawing for the first time in a while,
then I started adding colors and definitions
shadiness and highlights,
F
rom the blonde vanillic hair and the milk chocolatey coat
To the beautiful ivory scarf with the pastel purple tulip print on the end of it
I then loved my "first time in a while" artwork
...
