𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜

𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚃𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑

𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 : 11

6 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝
10 : 00

"Everything has an end

And for that, we must learn to let go

Even if it does hurt,

Even if it tears your heart apart

Even if it smothers your soul to the nothingness

You should learn to deal with it

Embrace and accept this loss

For nothing's eternal"

Said the last page of the book I was binge reading for a week now

But I mean what's the point of it all?

"Beavery"

the title of the book began with a word that doesn't apply to my vocabulary

All I did was escape it, by cutting my wrists with the wine bottle glass

As later tried to slice my throat with a cleaver that intentionally was pre-covered in my dilapidated arms' blood

And now I don't even know what it is I was escaping

Seems like my consciousness felt some kind of pity to bury the reason deep inside my unconsciousness

Now all I feel is numbness

outside and inside

And I don't know what to feel and how

he's gonna come soon and I don't know how to react when he does

not after that cuddle he gave me last night

I still have no idea why I'd told him to have a goodnight while we were at dawn,
but he replied the same though

Was that supposed to be a thing between us night owls?

Telling goodnight to one another at the start of the day?

I As usual, got consumed by my thoughts that has started to be mostly full of him

to the point that I forgot to eat throughout the evening, and now my sugar level's low

I'm more deteriorated than I already was

My shift tonight was crowded, that consumed my body's energy that wasn't even there in the first place

it's 1am

and he's coming soon, I got the order ready, to see him enter

but this time he didn't bring his work equipment with him