𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 : 11
6 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝
10 : 00"Everything has an end
And for that, we must learn to let go
Even if it does hurt,
Even if it tears your heart apart
Even if it smothers your soul to the nothingness
You should learn to deal with it
Embrace and accept this loss
For nothing's eternal"
Said the last page of the book I was binge reading for a week now
But I mean what's the point of it all?
"Beavery"
the title of the book began with a word that doesn't apply to my vocabulary
All I did was escape it, by cutting my wrists with the wine bottle glass
As later tried to slice my throat with a cleaver that intentionally was pre-covered in my dilapidated arms' blood
And now I don't even know what it is I was escaping
Seems like my consciousness felt some kind of pity to bury the reason deep inside my unconsciousness
Now all I feel is numbness
outside and inside
And I don't know what to feel and how
he's gonna come soon and I don't know how to react when he does
not after that cuddle he gave me last night
I still have no idea why I'd told him to have a goodnight while we were at dawn,
but he replied the same thoughWas that supposed to be a thing between us night owls?
Telling goodnight to one another at the start of the day?
I As usual, got consumed by my thoughts that has started to be mostly full of him
to the point that I forgot to eat throughout the evening, and now my sugar level's low
I'm more deteriorated than I already was
My shift tonight was crowded, that consumed my body's energy that wasn't even there in the first place
it's 1am
and he's coming soon, I got the order ready, to see him enter
but this time he didn't bring his work equipment with him