Willow
3:01 𝖯.𝖬.| South Dakota
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"Perhaps you're like me. You're avoiding hope to protect yourself from being hurt. I struggled to keep my mind in a positive pattern, Now I can't stand negativism. We call ourselves believers but the truth is, there are a lot of "unbelieving believers." For a long time, I was one of them. I had been hurt so much in my childhood, I developed a hardness of the heart that God had to break through in my life."
"Alright, Willow you need to figure out what you're going to do I can no longer hold your hand." My mother said closing me in my thoughts.
I was stuck in between loving the world and myself, something I struggled with for a long time. I could use some self loving.
"I don't know where to start." I said pushing back my tears.
"Start with yourself Willow." She said making me realize that I've been avoiding me for so long loving everything but myself. I didn't know where to begin my world was revolved around everything and everyone but Willow.
"You don't have to allow the old things that happened to you to keep affecting your new life." She said opening her arms indicating she wanted a hug, I reached over pulling her into a warm embrace.
The hardest part is saying to yourself, I want to change. "Thank you momma." I pulled away forcing a smile. I reached for my phone and keys about to walk out the room until she spoke. "Face reality."
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"Here's what you need to do. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you each time you start to get negative." My therapist said.
I nodded my head in agreement. My thoughts started to drift away little by little zoning out in my own presence.
"Recently a young lady whom I know experienced sorrow of a broken engagement.She wanted the relationship to continue and was thinking, hoping and believing that her former fiancé would feel the same way."
"I advised her to have a ready mind in case it didn't work out that way. She asked isn't that negative and I replied no negativism would be saying " My life is over. No one will ever want me. I'll be miserable forever."
"Do you understand where I am going with this Willow?" I snapped out of my thoughts nodding in agreement again even though I didn't hear a word she uttered.
"We don't always know what's going to happen. We just know it will always work out for our good!" The timer went off indicating our session was over for today. I jumped off the couch in joy excited it was finally over.
"Willow!" She shouted.
"Yes, Iyanna." I turned around in a hurry to finally leave.
"Don't ever give up, because little by little you are changing. The more you change your mind for the better, the more your life will also change for the better. When you begin to see God's plan for you in your thinking, you will begin to walk in it." I smiled clutching my purse as I walked out.
I parked my car across the street from the building so I had to walk through busy traffic. My thoughts shifted back to Iyanna's words. "Little by little you are changing."
As I was about to step foot across the street a felt a warm hand touch my shoulder, I quickly turned around coming into connect with a woman I've never seen before.
"Can I pray for you." She asked holding out her hands. I couldn't turn down her prayer for some reason I felt as if I needed it more than ever.
"Yes." I placed my hands in her hands feeling a emotion that was unexplainable.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you today because you are my refuge and my safe haven. Please send down your Holy Spirit to come and fuel me and restore this young lady's strength. She wants to know her direction right now, which route to take next. I pray for guidance and wisdom over her life. Help her find the path that will lead her to you, keep her from decisions that will tarnish her image and destroy her life. Show her your light in times of darkness. Let my words cause healing and life set free all bondages in her life right now Father I know you can do it because you have did the same for me, with everything in her life right now she feels hopeless and helpless. But I know and believe that you Lord, are the hope for the hopeless. So I am at your feet today lord I can not do this on my own, I need you. Help her to keep her eyes on you and not her problems. When she begins to worry about what she can't control please remind her that you are the one in control In your name I pray, Amen.
I sobbed as tears ran down my face, I was immediately taken back by the spirit of the woman. She reached out her arms and I ran into them feeling all the things I worried about drift away from my thoughts. I couldn't speak all I could do was cry out. I squeezed her so tight not wanting to let go of this moment I felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
"I love you Will." I quickly pulled away looking her in her eyes."
"Huh?' I could've sworn she said my name. I blinked a couple times rubbing my eyes occasionally.
"I said His love Will do it." I nodded my head assuming that's what she said.
"What's your name?" I asked her looking over her appearance. She didn't look like she was from around here, she had this glow that wasn't like nothing I've ever seen before.
"Deborah is my name." I nodded pulling her into a hug. It felt so good I didn't want to let go but I had too.
"Will I ever see you again." She shook her head no.
"I'm just visiting, I had to come to see a friend in need of help." My smile quickly turned to a pout.
"But always remember this when the conviction comes, ask God to help you. Don't think you can handle this yourself. Lean on him." I believe that God is healing me.
"Now I have to go, I have someone else that needs praying for." She reached over and touched my hand placing a necklace with a bee on it. I looked at it smiling and put it in my pocket.
"Thank you Deborah for the word and the necklace."
"Shalom." She said as she walked off into the busy crowd of people now surrounding the entire block.
I looked up at the sky smiling and muttering. "Thank you Father."
