BEST WEAPONS

Chapter 3- Perspective

She was beautiful. I knew this from the moment I laid eyes on her. The way her dark auburn hair fell like brush waves on her shoulder, the way she tilted her head when she removed her sunglasses, the way she sat perches on the grass; I had to meet her. I had just joined Wentworth as the assistant professor to Mr. Dunbar and had already become a trusted aide due to my appeal among the students and my comprehensive subject material. I knew she knew me, but I wanted to get to know her better.

Most people don't know me; the real me at least. But even those who have had a single chance encounter with me have always quipped, "Jon Montana is too crass.". I am not crass, I am just plain blunt. I cannot sugarcoat things even if I wish to do so. Meeting Jeanette Udwin on that fateful sunny afternoon of June 02, I wanted to let go of my straight-forward behaviour and put on my gentlemanly best, even for an inconsequential while. But, I couldn't do so. I looked at her, I looked at the glare of the Sun through her sunglasses and I realised that I could not be fake with her. She had this eloquent air of innocence about her face and the equivocal voice and mind of the intelligentsia. I realised this when I asked her why she liked history and she replied in a way that almost gave me goosebumps. I realised there was no point lying to her.

I was 7 years her senior and understood the discomfort I might have put her through by offering her my end of the deal; but I was to realise later that Jeanette Udwin is the most open-minded woman. She told me this on one of those nights when I finally managed to ask her why she had said yes to this unconventional offer.

"I just wanted to have fun, Jon.",she said, "I have had my life planned for too long now. I needed some release from the monotony of living every moment planned to the very last detail. You seemed like an adventure."

"So, I was just say, spring break to you?"I added in jest.

"I should leave now.", she replied. Such an anti-climax!

"Hey, hun! Did I offend you or something?" I asked, baffled.

"What, no! You know I always leave at this time. I need to get home in time, get my sleep and get to college in time."

"You could get your sleep here. You could stay the night."

She laughed, kissed me and said, "God! For a moment, I thought you were serious."

She left. I was serious.

Days, weeks and months went by and our midnight rendezvous sessions only grew more. I felt like I was addicted to her. I loved her perfume, her eyes with that Indian kohl, her lips always as classic as red and her laughter-when she really wanted to laugh, she laughed heartily. I loved it when she laughed truly, fully and hated it when her laughter felt like it was a concealed teardrop. I learnt that pretty early, Jeanette Udwin has invented the art of hiding her emotions. Her conversations with me were distorted and I felt like she was withholding herself from me. Even when she was with me, I know I could never be in sync with her emotions; as if she lived in a far distant land and all the doors up there were locked for me. I wanted to talk to her, to get to know her feelings better; but she left as soon as she came by. She had college after all.

One night, in an attempt to unravel the mystery that lay in bed with me every other night, I asked her to not wear her sunglasses that often. She looked at me in a way that basically unnerved me. That day, I understood that even though I could be the guy who took her home; I could never be the one. I knew it was I who decided that emotions were to be left out of our deal- no strings attached; but I felt like we could never connect even while we were able to pleasure each other in the most intimate act of intimacy.

But it is a known fact that be it good times or bad, time always changes. So, times changed, the tide turned and after that night, Jenny seemed to be truly happy. She laughed like I liked seeing her laugh, she spoke with me unabashedly and even withheld nothing about her mother. She experimented in the bedroom and I saw a glint in her eyes. I actually felt like I made her happy. One of these frank conversations of ours led me to ask her the reason behind her newfound bliss, suggesting that she might have found a new partner. It wasn't out of jealousy, just... Well, that's what I asked her, whilst complementing the change and appreciating the openness, I actually thought she might have found someone else.

I was glad to hear she hadn't.

I never saw her again. When I called her next, she didn't pick it up for a good couple of days and when she finally did, I got to know that she was in Seattle with her mother. I wanted to meet her one last time. I was desperate; I was to leave for Cali in a few days for Christ's sake. I guess some people are just stubborn, she is their queen.

It is funny to admit this, but when I first got the offer from New York based Soeman's and Co. for being Head of Finance, a flash of Jenny crossed my mind.

I thought she was New York. She felt like home.

But, I didn't plan on seeing her that soon. I felt that I would have to track her down or something. However, contrary to her regular disposition, this time Jeanette Udwin was easy- easy to bump into in that bar. I saw her as she entered with her friends. A jolt of electricity ran through me when I saw her looking at me. She went towards the ladies' washroom. I followed her cue.

"It has been long." she said, "although you do look very good."

"So do you." I said.

An awkward silence plagued the surrounding and I said, "No sunglasses?"

"It's dark."

"That never seems to bother you before."

She laughed, truly.

"I've missed you.", I said.

"Oh, no. You didn't miss me. You missed my boobs. But you would've gotten enough of that in California- bitches, sorry beaches."

I came close to her, a half-smile on my face, I held her face close to mine and grabbed her waist. I cleared the flick of auburn off of her forehead and I kissed her.

I took her home, my old apartment, my old new lady. Yes, this time, for once, Jeanette Udwin was easy- easy to meet, easy to talk to, easy to talk home; but of course it is impossible as always to make her stay the night. She gave one last look as she closed the door behind her- kohled eyes, a smirk on her red lips and her hand waving goodbye. She is beautiful.