Train to Paris

together but apart

He was sitting on the couch working. I peeked at him from underneath the blanket. He really was gorgeous, he was everything to me and for me. Everything he did and the way he did it. Everything I needed and wanted. There was no way I was going to let him go. He will just have to make peace with it, I already decided.

Don't think I don't see you over there looking at me from under those beautiful lashes of yours. What are you plotting?

I quickly dunked my head under the blanket and could hear him laughing.

How you feeling bunny? Like a truck drove over me. I am fine. He just looked at me. I knew he could see the lie in my eyes. Are you hungry. I will order some food. Ok. We can eat and then we can take a nice bath together.

He called down for some food and then sat back on the couch. Bunny are all your things finalised in Paris? Do you still have any more meetings? No. Why? Well I am done too, so I thought we could move to my house on Sunday. Yes! I wanted to jump up and kiss him. I only managed to sit up. He laughed but then his eyes grew serious when he saw my bruised and marked body. He came to sit next to me. He put his hand on my cheek and slowly stroked it with his finger. I'm so sorry bunny. I hurt you. I lost control. I promise I won't...I put my hand on his mouth. Don't you dare make any such promises. I am a big boy and I know you would have stopped if I asked you to, but I didn't.

He kissed me softly and I have never felt so much love, affection and tenderness. Bunny, I think I am falling for you. I rolled my eyes. What? Only now? Sarawat Guntithanon I fell for you the minute I saw you. He laughed took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply.

We where walking down the street. I handed Bunny a croissant as I took a sip of my coffee. I had a newspaper under my arm. It was a perfect Paris morning. Who still reads newspapers? Only you you old man...heeeeey we appreciate the old things here in Paris. Yeah right. You just want to look important. I put my arm around his shoulder and kissed his head. It truly was bliss. The city looked like a dream with the bunny by my side. How could it not. His infectious laugh made everything brighter...those inquisitive eyes that didn't miss a thing...his never ending energy. I tried many Sunday afternoons to coax him into an afternoon nap....I have yet to succeed. Luckily he discovered my small studio in the back of the apartment, it kept him busy. You are really good bunny. I am serious. Have you ever thought of taking up photography professionally? He just laughed. We spent our evenings in small bistros drinking wine by candlelight, walking through the city on weekends, making love in the afternoons. It was perfection, until it wasn't.

I noticed he was getting quiet. I let him be, knowing he will eventually come out with it. I would not rush him. We were lying in bed... the sun playing a dance in his mop of brown hair. Wat....his voice sounded small, almost scared. Yes bunny? I have to go home soon. I knew this day would come but my heart was not ready. I saw the tears forming in his eyes. Ok Wat be strong. I held him close. It's ok bunny. It will be ok. We will make it work ok. Even if I have to move to Bangkok, move in with you and become a good wife. He laughed. You so would not do that!! I took his chin in my hand and looked at him. Bunny I would do it for you. I love you. I could see all the emotion becoming too much for him. He hid his head in my chest. I lifted his face and wiped his tears. I kissed him softly. I love you too Wat.

I could see him becoming more restless as the days crept closer. I couldn't understand why. Bunny why are you so nervous? Aren't you happy to see your family again? He just looked at me. He googled something on the laptop and placed it in front of me. He grabbed his jacket and left. I let him go.

I looked at the screen in front of me.

Tine Teepakorn. Son to Diane and Mork Teepakorn. Second heir to Type Teepakorn. Teepakorn industries is the largest conglomerate in Southeast Asia with an annual turnover of 32,5 billion per year. The youngest heir is currently on a gap year, having done some modelling in Europe, but is expected to return before the end of the year.

Fuck.

He kept clinging to me at the airport. Wat I don't want to go. Please don't make me go. Wat you don't know what you are asking of me. You don't know what these people are capable of...please Wat...please. We were both crying standing on the tarmac in front of the private jet. Please Wat don't abandon me...my heart broke. I didn't know what to do. Bunny I promise I will come and see you in 3 months ok...I promise. Just 3 months and then I will be there....you can have me all to yourself....please Bunny don't cry. Promise Wat. Nothing could take me away from you...Bunny I love you.

I was standing in front of the door in the 30th something floor. I rang the bel. An old guy in a suite opened. Hi, I am Sarawat. Yes of course Mr. Guntithanon.

Mr Teepakorn is on his way and will be here shortly. I walked into the penthouse. It was so cold and unpersonal. Not like the bunny at all. Where was he anyways.

I went to his room and made myself comfortable. He walked in 30 min later. Briefcase in hand, 3 piece suite. He looked hot, but also aloof and serious. Wat? Aah that was today. I saw relief flood over him. He grabbed me and hugged me right. Bun.....can't.....breathe......

Fuck it's good to see you babe. Just what I need but first. I assume your flight was comfortable. He started undoing my shirt buttons. I need to get reacquainted with this big dick of yours. Immediately. He pushed me down on the bed. Ok this Bunny was way more authoritative, not that I was complaining. I grabbed him and kissed him.

He was lying in my arms an hour later. Bunny? Hmmm? What's going on? I barely speak to you, you forgot I was coming today. This is not you. I know, its just lots of pressure and I am still adjusting. I feel like I am drowning a bit. Bunny that's why am here you should be able to drown in me. Talk to me. I know Wat, but his world is so different, it doesn't even make sense to me sometimes. Thinking of you in the apartment in Paris reading your stupid newspaper is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes. If I draw you too much into this world then I won't be able to escape to you.

I sat on the plane back to Paris thinking about what he said to me that first night. If he won't be able to make me a part of his world how are we ever going to be together?