JoongDunk // KluenNuea Compilation

Drowning

Author's POV

'Ugly'
'I don't want this ship to sail'
'Who the fuck does he think he is?'

"Joong, have you ever love someone?" Dunk asked.

"Yes I do. And I still love him" Joong smiled.

.

It is a long day. Dunk is lying on his bed while scrolling his tiktok. 'Joongdunk' is what he searched. He smiled looking at the videos of him and Joong that the fans has taken.

Despite that there are a lot of people who support him, he can't ignore the negative comments. Negativity really leave a huge impact rather than the positivity after all.

He couldn't help but checking out all of JoongNine videos. It hurts his heart when people said that him with Joong are nothing compared to Joong with Nine.

It is true that him and Joong are only a friend. Close friend, that's what Joong said. But for Dunk, Joong is his first love. He never told Joong about his feelings. He know what they did are all for fan-service. He know he have to keep his feelings to himself. He don't want to ruin everything. Moreover, Joong have Nine.

Dunk saw how Joong always smiled when Nine texted him. Dunk saw how Joong excitedly pick up his phone whenever Nine called him. Dunk saw how Joong act differently when it is involving Nine.

And Dunk is hurt but he can only smiled.

.

Dunk is scrolling on his ig when Joong back-hugged him. Dunk relaxed his body on Joong's hand. For a moment, Dunk doesn't feel that it is an unrequited love. Just for a moment.

"Dunk, I'm sorry. I have to go back first. I can't wait for you" Joong said apologetically.

"But I thought we agreed to watch a movie after this?" Dunk asked, eyes filled with hope.

"Oh! I forgot about it! I'm sorry Dunk, it is really urgent. You haven't buy the tickets yet right? Lets watch it tomorrow" Joong said.

"It's okay. We can go tomorrow" Dunk smiled when Joong pecked his cheek. Joong is not good for Dunk's heart.

.

The truth is, Dunk already bought the tickets. Instead of wasting it, Dunk decided to watch the movie alone. Maybe it can help him to clear his mind.

But that's not the case. In front of Dunk are Joong and Nine. Their seats are right in front of Dunk, and they didn't noticed Dunk. Dunk clenched his hand until it draws blood. He bite on his lips until he can taste the metal. He draw out his phone to text Joong.

'Joong, where are you?'

'I am with my mom'

'Alright, enjoy your movie'

Dunk rushingly grab his things and make his way to the exit, not caring whether they have noticed him or not. He run as fast as he could to his car. Running is another way to relieve anger and sadness.

.

"Dunk. Did you saw me yesterday?" Joong asked. Dunk only nodded.

"I didn't mean to lied to you. I don't even know he wanted to watch a movie and I felt guilty towards you, so I had to lie" Joong said, clearly feeling guilty.

"No worries Joong. Besides, we are only friend. You don't have to explain to me whatever you are doing" Dunk chuckled, tapping on Joong's shoulder before going to his manager.

.

"P'Joong, were you with P'Nine yesterday?" A fan asked. They are currently on an event.

"Yes. It've been a long time since we last meet each other" Joong answered.

"You look good with P'Nine. We missed JoongNine" The fan said again, totally ignored Dunk's existence. To make it worst, 10 more fans chanting 'JoongNine' loudly.

Dunk clenched on his fist again, making a new fresh wound when the old wound clearly haven't healed yet.

"P'Dunk! Your hand!!" A fan shouted worryingly.

Dunk's manager quickly bring Dunk to a backstage's room. He took Dunk's hand and examined it quietly. Dunk just look down all the time.

"Dunk" his manager called.

"You fell for him aren't you?" his manager continued. When Dunk doesn't answered him, he let out a shaky breath with a soft 'poor thing' before hugging Dunk. Dunk cried silently on his shoulder.

.

Twitter have been flooded by a concern fans. Dunk didn't go back to the stage yesterday, instead, his manager bring him back home.

Dunk shut his phone off since yesterday, with his manager's approval. He don't want to be disturbed. He wanted to rest, but he couldn't. He couldn't sleep since yesterday. He didn't eat, he didn't drink, he only stared blankly on the wall.

He finally had enough. He take out his sleeping pills from a box.

Throwback

"Guys, Dunk said when he grow up, he wanted to find his real love!"

"Hahahahah what a bullshit is that?"

"Nobody will love you Dunk"

"Look at the mirror, look at how ugly you are"

"I swear I will kill myself if you found your true love"

End of throwback

Yes, Dunk was bullied. He don't have any friends and his parents never have time for him. He is all on his own. He haven't self-harm for a long time but now it is too much for him. He is overwhelmed. He feel unwanted. He feel useless. He is useless. Or that's what he thought.

He love it when Joong gave him all of his attention. He missed the soft touch. He missed the cuddly Joong. When Joong pampered him, he felt that maybe, just maybe, his unrequited love isn't actually unrequited. But who is he to hope for something that is too good to be true? What his bullies said were true. He saw how everything started to change when Joong can get in touch with Nine.

Dunk was once jokingly annoyed Joong when he was on the phone with Nine. Joong end up pushing him harshly with an angry face before walking away to continue talking with Nine.

Since then, Dunk knew his place.

.

"DUNK" Joong aggressively knock on Dunk's door. Luckily he know the passcode. He made his way into Dunk's bedroom only to see a neat empty bedroom. Then, he heard a water running inside the toilet.

.

Ambulance sirens break the silent night. Doctors and nurses rushingly pushing a weak body into the red zone. Chaos occurs in front of the emergency room.

Joong can't forget the pale face, shattered pills and overflowing water.

"We have tried our best, but it is too late. He is no longer alive"

And Joong fainted.

.

"You asked me if I have ever been in love. I said I do and I still do. I regret that I did not tell you his name. If I have a chance, I will say "I do, and I still love him. He is pretty, he is tall, he always make me happy and he is you"" Joong said, biting his lips to prevent him from crying.

"I regret that I didn't spend a lot of time with you and showered you with love. I regret everything Dunk. There is no JoongNine. It have always been JoongDunk."