Its always been you

Chapter 4

I wake up with the sound of heavy rain.
It was still dark outside. I roll over and check my phone for the time.

4:11am

"Jeez" I say to myself, annoyed.
I waited for a few minutes and sat up.
There's no way I'll fall asleep now. I think to myself. I can never fall asleep when u
I know its raining.

Yeah thats right. Even the rain reminds me of him.
I just sat at the window looking outside and can't help but think of him.

*Flashback*

"Gosh it's raining like crazy"
I say to myself before looking out the window.
I turn back and plop on my bed scrolling through my phone.

*10 minutes later*

On top of the phone I see
*Justin calling*

"Heyyy"
"Go to your window" He asks me without any explanation
"What?" I say confused, before getting up from my bed
"Dude what are you doing ? Get the fuck in here!"
"No, come out" He says before smiling to himself.
"Are you crazy? It's raining cats and dogs outside"
"Yea I think I saw a chihuahua fall down" He  chuckles.
"Oh that's funny! Seriously Justin, you're gonna fall sick. Can you please just come up?" I say almost getting worried.
"Alright I'll wait till you get your ass here. see you soon" He says before ending the call.
"What ? No-"
*Beep beep*

"Ugh this dork ! I swear to god" I say rolling my eyes.

I put a hoodie on and head downstairs and I see him smiling and holding his arms out to welcome me l.

"What the hell is wrong wi-
"JUSTINNNNN !"
I yell before he grabs my arm and starts twirling me.
There he is just laughing like an ass that he is
"Come on isn't this fun?"
He says just casually dancing in the rain

" yeah it'll be even more fun when we're both in bed sick!"
"So whaaaat ? Come onnnn"
There he goes again twirling me and I just give in cuz not gonna lie it was kinda fun.

We were just laughing and suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me towards him.

His wet hair,
His big brown sparking eyes looking at me always gets me weak. But for some reason his eyes looked sad. The more we kept staring at each other, the more I could see his eyes sparkled. 

Sparkling with tears

I hold his face and ask
"What's wrong?"
No response
"Hey?"
He closes his eyes looking down not letting  me look at his face.
"Justin what's going on? You're scaring me"
I say starting to get worried. I can never handle him crying
He just keeps his hands on top of mine and  looks at me trying not to let a sound out.

Few seconds later I realise what was happening.

"No !"
I say taking my hand off of him and taking few steps back.
I look at him for few more seconds and let out a chuckle

"No Justin" I say starting to loose my control and tears filling my eyes.

"I'm sorry" was all he said before dropping his head low

Both of us were just standing there crying and not saying anything else for what felt like hours until I decided to break the silence.

"So that's why?"
"Huh"
"Is this why you wanted me to come out here?"  I say walkimg towards him and starting to get angry.
I look at him for few seconds

"Answer me you jerk!"I say pushing his chest.
He stumbles and just stood waiting for more

"What? You don't wanna fucking open your mouth now?" I say while grabbing his collar and he just stands there which got me even more mad.

"LOOK AT ME !" I say before he finally looks into my eyes and stops crying

"Why?" Was the only thing I could mutter out. My throat felt so heavy, I could barely speak

He looks at me dead in the eyes,
Takes my hands off of him,
Takes a few steps back and says,

"I can't do this anymore" He says without any hesitation

"Why? Is it because of what my dad said the other day ? Justin we talked about it. I told you that's not-

"No!" He cuts me off
"He knows what's best for you Amie. You should be with somone who can give you the world. I cant do that. I dont even have have a world of my own"

"I don't want the fucking world. I want you !" I almost yelled in the middle of the road.
All he did was shake his head.
"You promised we were in the togther. You promised that we'd help each other figure out"

"Justin-" I say walkimg towards him
"No Ams. Don't!" He pleads while still trying to hold his face.
"Please don't make this any harder"
He says before grabbing my hands.

"I will always love you" He said before kissing my cheeks.
He takes a few steps back while letting my hands go.
He turns around to walk away but I hug him from the back and he stops his tracks.

"Please !"
"Please don't leave"
He loosens my grip and just walks off not even looking back.
And i just watch him leave

*Present*
I snap back to reality and find myself crying hard. I thought I had moved on. Besides the  dreams, I didn't think there was more to it until I saw his picture.
Seeing him in my Dreams was more like a blurry figure. But looking at his picture after 5 years brought back a lot of things I thought had died.

Everything I thought I buried is slowly rising up to the surface, one by one.
I juat sat by the window, closing my eyes shut, just reliving the painful memories of that day.
The last time I ever saw him.