Murphy's Law.

Two - long walk off a short pier.

Once again, fabulous artwork by the equally-fabulous Katie.

The following morning found me shoving books into my locker, mentally preparing myself for the horror which was Biology that I had to suffer through first class. Mom had spent the majority of the evening unable to discuss anything except for her sons' upcoming nuptials, which of course meant I spent from after dinner until I eventually escaped citing homework as an excuse listening to her garble on about venues, flower arrangements, and most of all, the dress.

"So, let me get this straight," Murphy said, an infuriating smirk unfurling on his lips as he leaned against the locker next to mine "You're going to be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding. As in a proper hold the bouquet and smile for the camera bridesmaid?"

I stared at him testily before replying with a curt "Yes."

Which of course made him promptly burst out laughing.

My scowl deepened and I hit his shoulder with my binder, only serving to make him laugh all the more.

"You - you in a dress," he snorted, bending double as he tried to catch him breath.

"I wear dresses, excuse you. And move your fat ass, the freshman's trying to use her locker." I pointed over his shoulder to where a nervous-looking girl stood holding her keys.

He shrugged away from the locker wordlessly, shooting the girl a charming grin before swapping to stand at my other side. I rolled my eyes when I saw the girls cherry red cheeks.

"He's free Monday's, Tuesday's and Thursday's," I advised her "Wednesday's, Friday's and Sunday's are swim practise and Saturdays are dedicated to corrupting girls' innocence at various different venues across town." I finished with an air-hostess worthy grin.

The freshman promptly shut her locker and scurried away. I turned back to face Murphy with a self-satisfied smirk to find him pouting at me.

"She was cute, Jack. Why'd you have to scare her away?" He whined.

"I didn't scare anybody, I just told her the honest to God truth," I said innocently, snickering when he shot me a dirty look.

"You're evil, and I hate you."

"Then explain to me why you're still hanging around?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I may have forgotten to do my Math homework," he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Again." I rolled my eyes.

"Again," he repeated.

"And what exactly am I supposed to do about it?"

His response was to shoot me his best puppy-dog impression, wobbly bottom lip and all. Which might have worked on any other girl who didn't know him like I did, but he had used it on me entirely too much. It lost its effect sometime around eighth grade, but he never gave up on it.

"You don't have Maths until after lunch. Do it then."

"But it'd be so much easier if you just let me copy yours...?"

"Murphy," I sighed, hope flashing in his eyes "How about you go take a long walk off a short pier?"

His scowl returned once again as I laughed in his face.

"You've had the same lame joke since the sixth grade. It's still not funny."

"Ooh, burn. How on earth will I survive?"

"You're going to die alone and lonely," he shot, shoving his hands in his pockets as he backed away from me. Typically, the traffic in the hallway seemed to magically part for him.