This Road

Preface

Preface

He stepped forward, and I took another step back. Cocking his head to one side he asked, “Are you scared of me, Ron?” 
I shook my head. “What? Of course not. Why would I be scared of you?”  
His hazel eyes were all lethal. “Because you’re shaking.”  
“I’m cold,” I lied. “It’s not warm in here.” He didn’t exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy, either.  
“I can warm you up a little bit.” He took another step forward, and I took another step back. He was toying with my emotions right now. He knew what he’d once meant to me, and was using that weakness to get to my soft spot. Part of me didn’t want to retreat. Part of me wanted him to touch me. But I knew that would be wrong. He was all parts of wrong. I reminded myself I hated him. I hated who he’d become. I hated myself for loving him once, but I couldn’t stop loving him. It was as if I was trapped. I wanted to stop caring about him. I wanted to not give a crap about him. I wanted nothing to do with him, not after everything he’d done to me, but there was still that one part of me that wanted him in my world. A part of me wanted his synergy. I reminded myself that he wasn’t good enough for me. He hurt me, mocked me, made fun of me, and broke me. I wouldn’t fight back because I felt trapped. I felt that if I were to fight back, I’d lose him forever. But I already had the feeling that by this point, it was already too late.  
I jutted my chin out, trying to appear tougher than I felt. “I’d prefer to just put my clothes on, thank you very much. You shouldn’t even be in here. This is the Girl’s locker room.” 
He pressed his lips together and his eyes sparkled. “And I’d rather you just give in a little bit to the voice in your head I know is urging you to let go. Stop fighting it already.” 
I narrowed my eyebrows and took another step back. “I’m not fighting anything,” I said.  
He snickered. “I know what’s going through your head. You’re trying to keep up your act in hopes that the old me will come back. The weak little kid who didn’t know who he was or what he wanted in life is gone.” He stepped closer to me, and I backed up again before running into the wall.  
Crap.  
“You don’t know me, Jay.” I gave him a look that was all lethal. “You have no idea who I am.” 
“Don’t be so sure,” he responded. And he moved forward again until he was only inches from me. My hand tightened around my towel. 
“I have no hope for you,” I said. I wanted to believe myself. I wanted to just be done with him. I’d thought I was. Until this moment. 
“You’re lying.” He reached his hands out and rested them on my waist before gently pushing me against the wall. 
I took an audible gasp of air. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen. He smiled, satisfied by the noise I’d made. Damn hormones. 
My stomach fluttered a little bit and worked its way down and in between my legs. 
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. His eyes flicked down to my lips, and then back to my eyes. “This has become a fun game,” he commented, bowing his head down a bit. “Are you fazed yet?”
I clenched my teeth, trying to keep them from chattering. “No.” 
He pressed his lips to my collarbone and I closed my eyes against his touch, trying to keep my stomach from pulsing. “What about now?” 
I gave a gentle shake of my head. 
He trailed his lips up my neck and to my jaw, softly, slowly, gently, and I could feel my erratic heartbeat all over the place. Shallow little pants made my chest rise and fall. “And now?” 
Still, I managed to give a weak shake of my head. I wasn’t going to give in. He didn’t faze me. He couldn’t. If he knew just how much of an effect he had on me, he’d torment me for the rest of the time until I went off to college. And if he got accepted to the same school as me, then  I could expect a lot more torment than I was willing to accept. 
His body was connected with mine now. His mouth trailed up from my jaw and headed towards my bottom lip. Heat flashed through me. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the sensation. 
Curse him. Screw him. 
He brought his mouth back over my cheek and to my jaw just below my earlobe, and finally, my body couldn’t resist it anymore and I released a low moan. 
I heard him laugh against my skin, and I felt dizzy. Just kiss me already. 
He moved his lips back over towards my mouth, and I released another shudder, bringing one hand up and around his neck, wanting him. Pulling him closer. 
Finally his lips found mine, and I caved into him, wanting him to consume me.