~Close your eyes and picture the warmth of the sun on your skin... that's how being loved by her felt~
Harry Styles is a nepotism baby turned new father, left clueless with a newborn baby to raise, he is overwhelmed and under pressure. Matters are...
TW- mentions of rape// sexual assualt & brief mention of OCD
please look after yourself, my dms or messages are always a safe space and are always open for any of you <3
this chapter is very personal to me so please go gentle and remember that a real person is behind these characters and their feelings :)
October 24th
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Do you ever have those moments where you realise that your life has changed forever? The kind where you stand deathly still, frozen in place like time has stopped but for some reason, you feel like everyone else has sped up around you.
Standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. Your toes are just off the edge but the nerves are too much for you and you end up glued to the spot. But even with all your fear, you manage to look left and right. Everyone around you is diving off the cliff and plunging into the deep waters with no trepidation, no hesitation and no regrets.
As you stand there, you wonder why the hell you can't just swallow the lump in your throat and go for it.
Why you can't move?
Why you can't feel anything other than your heartbeat pounding in your ears?
So far in my life, I have experienced four path-altering moments which changed the trajectory of my life as I knew it.
The first was five years ago, on what was just a random evening at the start of February, the worst thing that I have ever experienced happened to me.
I have never experienced something so demoralising, so intrinsically soul-crushing and worst of all, something that completely robbed whatever innocence and wondrous hope I had in the universe.
Although, horrific and by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me, it gave me my two children.
The two most wonderful souls who saved my life.
I just didn't know it at the time.
Finding out I was pregnant with them almost felt like a punishment or a curse of some kind. They were always going to be a physical reminder of what happened to me and what I will always have to actively work on getting over.
The second moment that I realised my life would never be the same was when my mom laid Nola in my arms. I was already holding Rory, tears streaming down my cheeks and a shaky yet terrified smile on my face. With them both laying in my arms, I realised that I would never feel lonely again.
For the rest of my life, I would have two best friends.
But just because I had my little loves, doesn't mean that I was magically over what he did to me. My trust was still shattered just like the piece of my mind that was able to identify real danger from overthinking.
