Finding Ryder

Chapter 15

Jessica POV

Have you ever smelled a newborn after a good sleep, belly full. It's a beautiful, the smell of new life. But if you stick your nose deep into the folds of their baby fat roll you find traces of soured milk, rotting cheese. That scent, the rotten curdled milk with soft sweet notes of new life, that's what new hate smells like. Odd isn't it!

The scent of it washes over the sea, falling off my brother, clinging to me. Should I apologize, try to explain why?

Sara is shaking next to him, salty tears leaving silver streaks on her pretty face. Sweet, pungent stink of hate.

Inside my gut twists into more knots. I want to double over, hold tight to my insides. I don't want to bleed like this. My body feels as battered as my heart. Uncomfortable blanket of heat is starting to blossom inside the furnace of my womb. Looking at Conner, his graphite eyes cutting into me.

Choking in sobs that want to escape, swallowing misery bone deep. Alone. Cold. I steal my spine.

He will hate me worse when I am done.

"I expect you to be marked and mated by the time I come back." my words are thick in my throat, but coated with authority of Alpha.

Conner doesn't move. Not even a breath passes through his chest. He is a stone wanting to crush me. Steal and stone.

"What?" Sara's eyes fly between the two of us. Looking from Conner to me, and back. Sputtering her words, unbelieving. Her life, employed. Does she miss the plants and the fresh dirt she loves so much already?

This is not the way their lives should have started.

"Sara, this is not the way your life with my brother should have started. But we don't have time." I don't have time but I don't speak those words out loud. 

Imploring my brother with voive, to hear me. Please hear me!

There has to be a part of him that understands the urgency, the sheer catastrophe we are facing.

"But why?" She stutters out confused.

"We can talk about this after Sara is settled." He wants HIS words to be final, I can see it in the way he looks at me. His own alpha aura pushing only at me. Conner has shut me out of his thoughts. Our twin bond feels cold, like a body whose soul has long left it. The chill of it suffocates.

"It's not up for debate. It's an order from your Alpha." I don't pull rank on my brother. And I have done it twice today. My head wants to bow in shame.

I should have forced the mate issue with the East a long time ago. I knew Sara was his since we were 15. Now all I have is regrets.

"Sara, there is so much to explain, and no time. My heat is coming in strong, and I need to get to the cottage as soon as possible. Look at Dalton and Evan." sweeping my hands in the direction of the males whose struggle is physical.

Both males are slightly trembling, the fur on the ridge of their spine puckering the skin, trying to break free. Noses in air, sniffing in my direction. We are on a small speedboat, getting closer to our coast, and it is crucial I stay as far away from all unmated males. I am still in control of my body but with the rising heat it is only a matter of time before the animal instincts take over. For the sake of everyone I have to be locked in the cottage before that happens.

Conner growls a warning to the males that shakes them back to their tasks, but neither can help the occasional deep inhale.

"Our Bata female is due to deliver her pups any moment, and I will be indisposed for now. Our pack needs stability. Wolves need leadership. Conner will be vulnerable with me incapacitated temporarily. But with his mate on his right, his position is secured."