Society Killed the Girl

Shells

Chapter Seven







Just like that a semi sweet moment gets grabbed by the tail and whirled upside down without a moment notice. Right as Alec was in walking distance I felt my insides turn and twist until up it came, right on Alec's shoes. It was entirely gross and beyond nasty to the point just looking made more want to come up.

"Sorry" I muttered holding my stomach and wiping my mouth off with my bare arm.

It took a few moments for him to respond, because for the longest time he stared down at his shoes with an open mouth. "Ew" He said finally said shaking the residue off his boot. "Good thing I didn't like these old things." He joked actually slipping them off and leaving them in the middle of floor.

I was slightly shocked at his words, did he really just not care that I upchucked all over his fifty dollar pair of boots? I must be hallucinating from all the beer. "Feel better?" He asked, seemingly concerned.

"Not really." I answered truthfully "but mostly cause my mouth tastes like dog shi*"

I heard the small laugh that emanated out of Alec's mouth, but i made no move to make eye contact. I wouldnt dare looking at him. When I did, this - this rush of different emotions swirl around in my intestines momentarily making my drunk but think there was a man eating parasite taking residence in my stomach.

Alec was different, just as different as me if not more. I dont know whether it was just his appearance or if it was all of him, but he wasn't the same boy I grew up with. The little, innocent, quiet boy who was background music just like me. Alec had it worse than growing up to be honest. Every day everyone would find something wrong with him, something they didn't like to pick apart until he was so vulnerable there was nothing but an empty shell of a boy in his place.

I remember he would always try to stick up for me when I was getting torn down but never once did I do that for him. I stood idly on the side lines momentarily glad that it wasn't me in the grasp of my horrible classmates.

Never once did I stretch a welcoming hand out for him to take, never. I was just as bad as our assailants; if not worse. I could have done something to help him, to make him feel like he wasn't all alone in this. I could have done the most simplest things to make things okay for him. Instead I would cringe every time I saw him and run in the opposite direction to stay as far away as possible.

All of this made my newly empty stomach drop to the floor and a frown to form on my face. I felt genuine remorse over the things I did; or rather didn't do. I was just as cruel as everyone else in the world, no matter how much I'd like to think otherwise.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked placing a rough but gentle hand on my back.

I jump at the gesture, putting space in between us quickly. "Yeah, yup, yuppers. Imperfectly, perfect. All good here." I ramble putting a fake grin on my face to deceive him.

"You sure?"

"Positive." I reassure him definitely.

I didn't need him to think I was just as pathetic as before he left. He would make fun of me then, pick away at me like I let happen to him in the years before. It makes sense, the geek turning into the popular to seek revenge on those who made him feel worthless before. He would act just as they acted towards him, cruel and bitter until there was nothing left but that same empty shell.

Except for me.

He couldn't turn me into a broken empty shell, because I already was one. I was already empty and broken to the point of semi madness. I was torn down and stripped bare millions of times in front of my peers till I didnt care anymore, or more like I couldn't care anymore. I didn't have it in me to care anymore.

"If you're sure" He looked me over wearily, contemplating if I was telling the truth or not.

"I am, dont worry about me Alec." I gave him another smile, waving him off until he gave me a nod.

"Alright, so I'm going to go see what Little's doing. I'll catch you around Eve."

Once he turned his back to me I sighed in relief. My body relaxing instantly at the extended space now between us. I mentally slapped myself for the feeling I got at looking for him, I hated being physically attracted to the Alec, it was almost torturous. Because what was once a boney, lanky boy was now metamorphosed into a tall, muscular lean piece of man. He had shifted into a whole different person in the past two years and thats exactly what I feared for. I was afraid that sweet boy I knew was covered up by the hate surrounding him. That there wasn't any real pieces of Alec left, just cold hard nothingness.

I made my way into the kitchen of the house in search of some type of food before I began to drink again. I could even hear the grumbles of my stomach over the loud beat of Drake's melodic voice.

I saw some chips sitting out so I mindlessly took a few, crunching them down as I scoured the other room of signs of Lu. It didn't take long; she was tightly pressed against Jo, rubbing her body sensually against him. Her smile was so bright it rubbed off on me, this is what she wanted. She was happy in his arms and I could tell just by the radiance shedding off her sweat glistened body.

I watched them sway to the beat of the music slowly, almost as if they were savoring their time together in such an intimate position. Slowly, Jo's hand guided Lu's cheek until they were facing eachother enough for him to bring their lips together. I couldn't help let out a small awe. I was happy that they were together, or would be after tonight. It took them long enough. When I saw Liu and Jordan had disappeared I knew that we were staying here for the night and I was somehow okay with that. I wanted to give Lulu the time she deserved with Jo.

Before I knew it I had downed three beers and had taken several shots and was almost as drunk as I was before. I had full recollection of my motions and senses but everything seemed a little bit off balance.

I had danced for a little bit, not caring if anyone saw me or judged me at the moment. I liked that about alcohol. I could always count on it to lift my self confidence even if it was just for a little bit. I liked the temporary escape it offered me and the little secret fort it showed me so I could push reality down and just focus on the fantasy world I so desperately craved.

When I got over heated from all the dancing I decided to step outside and take a seat on the cold step right next to the door. I breathed slowly, noticing the small amount of fog coming out of my slightly open mouth telling me that winter was quickly approaching. It got pretty cold here in the Winter, down into the thirties and sometimes even the tens but I liked it.

The cold numbed away the pain swirling inside of me leaving me with the pain left on my fingertips and frostbit nose. Feeling the physical pain the cold gave was a piece of cake compared to the mental pain I was stricken with all the time.

As I began to freeze against the Autumn air warmth suddenly surrounded me in form of an oversized leather jacket. Alec smiled warmly down at me, standing only in a black T-shirt. I pulled the jacket closer to my body, offering up a warm real smile of my own. Maybe I was wrong about the whole revenge thing, maybe Alec was still Alec after all.