No One Else (Asa Butterfield)

Ten

I placed my phone to the side and waited, staying as calm as possible. I kept checking my phone and even got up to stress clean my kitchen area to keep myself busy. I was starting to regret messaging him, but a tiny voice in my head told me to do it anyways. Maybe this will make him realize how much he missed me and he will regret ever breaking my heart and leaving me. A girl can only dream.

An hour later, Miles responded with only a happy face. I didn't know what that meant exactly, but I missed talking to him more than ever. God, I felt so stupid. My actions were nothing but pure self-sabotage. I threw my phone aside on the couch and continued to clean. I wasn't hungry enough to make dinner, so I grabbed the box of donuts and sat down. I flipped through the channels, hoping I could find a movie to get my mind off of things and forget about the fact that my ex boyfriend broke up with me and is potentially already finding love elsewhere. I scrolled through Kill Bill Vol. 2, Kung Fu Panda and The Hangover, all movies that I've seen more times than I had planned to.

I was in the mood for some useless reality tv show drama, so I turned to MTV. Catfish: The TV Show was on, a show about people meeting their online partners and finding out their true identities. "It's almost like we're detectives solving a mystery." Maya would say.

They were playing three episodes back to back, and I ended up watching all of them. Maya was right, it was almost as if we were solving a mystery. Is their online partner who they say they are? If not, then who are they? Why is their house so sketchy?

I was more mesmerized by the concept of this show than I should be. The idea of people creating fake profiles to lure others in to convince them to fall in love with them was pure evil, yet pure brilliance. I found more episodes online and dedicated the rest of the night to watching the show, which included turning down Maya's invite to dinner with her and Mateo, which was really just a couple's therapy session with food.

*********

I slept a total of 3 hours that night. I skipped my English class to sleep in so I was able to rest a tad bit before work. I still couldn't stop thinking about that show last night. It was pure genius, and I never thought I'd be so invested in Maya's comfort show.

The library had been busy all morning, and Kelly rushed in the back to have one of her mid-day mental breakdowns. I tried comforting her and calming her down, but she kept insisting for me to return to the front in case someone needed help. I was relieved because I didn't know how much longer I could go with repeatedly patting her head and telling her that it was going to be okay.

"I'm going to be fine." She said with a stuffed nose and puffy eyes.

"You don't look fine, Kelly." I told her as I walked back out.

I got a notification on my phone telling me that Miles had a new post.

God, you're the cutest. It read.

I felt my heart drop down to my stomach. My body fell completely frozen as the room started to spin gradually. I tried convincing myself that he was talking about me, but I knew he wasn't. My first reaction was to reach out and ask him who he was talking about, but that was no longer my place nor my business. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Miles had given up on me so quickly and moved on to someone else. I couldn't fathom the idea that he had found someone better than me, someone who loved him more than I did. I had to prevent myself from breaking down, since Kelly had already beaten me to it. I tried rearranging shelves or walking around to avoid the fact that I wanted to scream into my pillow, but nothing seemed to be working. My heart was racing, hands shaking as cold chills constantly crawled down my spine. Anxiety attack. The worst ones happened at work, where I had no option but swallow it all and act as if everything was okay when everything was actually falling apart. I ran behind the counter, facing the wall to take some deep breaths.

Someone patted my shoulder.

"Kelly I'm-" It was not Kelly.

He was very well-dressed. From head to toe, his outfit was strategically well-put together. Tall. If I were to kiss him I'd have to stand on my toes to do so. He almost looked identical to Nev, the main host of Catfish.

"I'm so sorry is there something you needed help with?" I asked, putting myself back together.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Is everything alright?" He asked, genuinely very concerned.

"Y-yes. Well, no. You know, breakups. Anxiety. Life." I gave an awkward chuckle. "I'm just going through something, I'm sorry if I concerned you. Thank you for checking up on me."

"If you need anything, just wave. I'm usually in here pretty often." We exchanged smiles and he headed over back to his seat. I sighed, feeling embarrassed.

Being at work while going through something personal can be both a disadvantage and an advantage. It helped tremendously with getting my mind off of things, while other times it made things worse. I'd wish nothing more than to be at home crying yet I was stuck at work.

Today was the perfect example of its disadvantage.

Whenever I was going through something, I had the worst habit of oversharing and telling anyone I had any kind of interaction with. I wanted to tell Kelly, but she was the last person I would ever want to take advice from. I thought Maya was messy, until I met Kelly. That poor girl would be having an hour-long mental breakdown at work and drive to attend a work meeting right after. And I envied her for that.

Kelly crept up on me from behind, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay? I'm a little worried about you."

"I'm fine." I responded, avoiding eye contact.

She stood there in silence for a few seconds and walked away, responding to a student by the bookshelf who needed her help. I had to accept the fact that I was stuck here for 4 more hours before breaking free and going home.

Maya was the messiest person I knew, and I absolutely despised Mateo, but I envied their relationship. No matter how rough things were, or how nasty the fights would be, they always worked it out. Always. They fought much more often than Miles and I did, yet they figured it out and we didn't. It made my stomach turn thinking a toxic relationship like theirs had made it this far and mine had failed. It just wasn't fair.