No One Else (Asa Butterfield)

Five

I loved writing.

It is now solely the only thing that brings me pure happiness because Miles is no longer on the list. I never shared my personal writing with anyone, not even him. The short stories and poems that I had I only kept in my drafts or in my journal. Even though he hadn't read my work, Miles always supported me and told me I was going to make it as a writer one day. Wether or not he meant that statement, it always gave me a tiny sense of purpose.

I was supposed to go to work and class, but I didn't bother. I called out from work, and told Maya to take notes for me. I made the room as cold and dark as I could, bundled up in my blanket and watched television, leaving it on when I dozed off so I didn't feel so alone. Maya was at school and was meeting up with Mateo afterwards. She told me she was going to visit to drop off the conchas. If Mateo was coming with her, she was going to hand them to me by the door. If not, I needed to prepare for another girls' night.

Everything I did or watched reminded me of Miles. I was crying constantly and only stopped when I dozed off. I'd wake up and continue my sob session. I just wanted Miles back. I hopped on Twitter to see if he had unfollowed me; he hadn't. I checked Instagram to see if he unfollowed me; he didn't. I was surprised. I highly doubt he forgot since he had been active, my only guess was that he really meant the 'let's still be friends' nonsense he was talking about. I downloaded Snapchat and checked if he unfriended me; he hadn't. I scrolled through his tweets, which mostly consisted of retweets of viral videos and tweets. I wanted to see that he was hurting just as much as I was.

I finally came across some of his own tweets. Most consisted of replying to friends.

"I feel like such a piece of shit." One read. Because you are one. I thought to myself.

"Wings sound so good right now." Another read.

I couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to keep the fact that he was hurting a secret or he really didn't care that we were no longer together. He was very good at keeping me a secret. Out of all of his friends, he only told one person about me and not once did he mention me on any of his social media accounts. I continued scrolling through his tweets, which were filled with 10-second pointless videos that he thought were funny.

I turned off the TV and sat there in my own silence. I could have gone off on Miles during our breakup, which could have led to a horrible exchange of words, but because I'm such an emotional wreck, my crying and weeping got in the way of all of that and we had the most easy break up I had ever seen. Come to think of it, for the first time my emotions benefited me. Whether or not we talked, I still had access to Miles. I still knew how he was feeling, where he was, and could decipher his posts to see who he was with. It was perfect, and I had to use it to my full advantage. I know I could have made another account and followed him to access his posts, but I wouldn't have known where he was all the time through his location.

"I forgot I even had my location on." He'd tell me.

I hope it stays that way.