This Friend | Yeonbin

39

Soobin P.O.V

We’re both on our backs, looking up at the night sky. Our bodies are sort of angled, so we’re leaning in toward each other. Our hands are inches apart.

“Want another beer?” I ask.

“Obviously, yeah.”

I hand one to him, then crack mine open and take a sip. I focus on the sky. There aren’t many stars visible, but still, it’s pretty cool. It’s so massive. We drink our beers and finish them at about the same time.

Then we both lie down.

I put my hands behind my head and get really comfortable.

I’m hoping for a shooting star.

“I really like this,” says Yeonjun.

“Me too.”

He reaches out to touch my side. It feels like crackling electricity. His hand runs up my side, then across to my chest. Static, all over.

He shifts, until he’s propped upright, with his hand resting on me, looking into my eyes.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

His lips look so soft and pink. He’s bound to taste like beer right now. His hair is as messy as his can get, and there’s this sort of dazed look in his eyes. He’s drunk.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’ve just always had this fantasy of kissing a guy here. Of doing exactly this. I-”

I stop listening.

I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t, but

Screw it.

I sit up and kiss him.

I don’t even care about anything. He repositions so we can properly kiss. Our mouths open at the same time, and my tongue goes into his mouth. It feels so wet but weirdly so nice. I sit properly up, and we try out this sort of kissing.

I feel like I know his rhythm now. I know how to respond when he moves, and I know what to do with my tongue. It all just works.

We break apart, and I open my eyes.

“Like this?” I ask.

“Exactly like this.”

He pushes my chest, and I fall back down. Then he moves across-

He sits on top of me.

And I’m really hard. I’m sure he can feel it. I just wasn’t expecting him to do this.

“Sorry,” I say. “I..”

“Don’t be,” he says, and he cups my face with both hands, and kisses me. “You’re fine, dude.”

He does taste a little like beer, but it’s definitely not bad. It’s actually great. He takes my bottom lip between his teeth, which tells me going for it is okay.

We crash together, frantically kissing. I scratch down his back, and his eyelids flutter. His shoulders are so bulky, and I love how they feel. But mostly I just like how he kisses me. He does it so intently, like this is the only thing on earth he wants to be doing.

“I have a serious question for you,” he says.

“Anything.”

He touches my tank, lifting it up a little.

“Why is this still on?”

“Because you haven’t taken it off me.”

gOddAmN-

I’m not sure it’s the safest decision, because we are out in the open. But I still pull off his shirt, and then he takes mine off me.

I explore his chest and arms with my fingertips. Then he leans down again, and kisses me deeply.

It very quickly becomes apparent that I need to stop, like, right now.

I break away and press my head against the blanket. It smells earthy, like grass.

“Damn,” I say. “Don’t move.”

He laughs a throaty laugh. It’s so hot. He doesn’t move, though, and the feelings pass.

“Hey,” he says. “I need to tell you something.” His voice is thick.

“What? You want me to take my pants off?”

“I mean, yes. But before that, you need to know something.”

I sit up. “Oh, okay. What?”

He looks nervous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him nervous. It’s painfully endearing.

“This, um, it’s more than a friends-with-benefits thing for me. I think it always has been.”

Oh. Wow.

I mean, it is for me, too. But there’s a big difference between feeling it and saying it.

“But…,” I start.

“You don’t need to say if you like me back,” he says. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

“Dude,” I say, and then I gesture at my current predicament. I’m shirtless in the middle of a baseball field, and he’s sitting on top of me.

How can he doubt how I feel about him? “I obviously like you as more than a normal friend.”

“But we’re on opposite sides,” he says. “You said that, remember?”

I want to tell him everything I’m feeling.

But I can’t.

He’s a Choi.

Things between us have to end at some point. There’s no future where we’ll be allowed to be together. We’re always going to be who we are, and our families are always going to be our families.

But I’m not strong enough to turn down this wonderful boy.

And I owe him the truth. That’s always been our thing.

“I know what I said before. But it’s more than a friends-with-benefits thing for me, too.”

He smiles. “Sweet.”

It makes me so happy I think maybe it’s too late. I don’t know how it works. But I might already kind of love him.

Oh boy.

This is bad.

So freaking bad.

“How about we go on a date, then?” he asks. “I have something in mind, actually.”

“Do you, now?”

He nods and then kisses me in the middle of my forehead. “Next time we hang out, it’ll be a date, if that’s okay with you?”

“It’s more than okay,” I say. “It’s, like so exciting.”

“I’m glad you think that.”

He puts his hand on my face, and rubs my cheek with his thumb. I need to shave, because it feels a little prickly.

“What made you decide?” he asks.

“I guess i can’t help myself around you.”

“I can’t help myself around you, either.”

It feels so perfect. Maybe too perfect.

What about the Friend Scheme? And why we met in the first place?

What if he’s still manipulating me?

It’s as if he knows what I’m thinking, because he leans down and kisses me hard.

My doubts fade away.