Moral Devotions

14| Macy

"Hey, Macy. How's Axel?" Jonathon asks as I walk into the teacher's lounge.

"Good!" I smile. "He's all better now, and as energized as ever."

"That's awesome." He says, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Hey look, I was thinking... Maybe sometime tonight or tomorrow, if you're not doing anything, we could go get dinner or something?"

"Oh, um, I don't think I have plans, but I'll have to check. Maybe we could invite Emma too?"

Oh, er." Jonathon scratches the back of his neck, his face flushing. "I kind of meant just to two of us. Like a... A date."

My hand freezes over the start button on the printer. "Oh." It's not that I'm taken by surprise. I'd be blind to see Jonathon's crush. I just never thought he'd actually ask.

"It's just uh, you know, it's been a few years now, and we're friends but, I like you, Macy."

"Um... Can I think about it? I'm just not sure I'm really in a position to date right now."

"Of course. Just let me know when you decide." He sends me a small smile. "I can make a reservation at that Italian place I know you like."

"Okay. I'll let you know."

But the minute he walks out of the door, I'm grabbing my phone out of my pocket and clicking on Declan's contact.

Me: Jonathon just asked me out on a date...

And of course, he replies almost immediately.

Declan James: Like, the English teacher? Whose classroom is across the hall from yours? The one that always wears sweaters under collared shirts?

Me: That would be the one
Declan James: The way I just cackled out loud. LOL. That's cute of him. You said no, right?
Me: Er... I told him I'd think about it.
Declan James: Macy... Don't lead the poor guy on
Me: I'm not trying to but, I don't know, it could be fun
Declan James: You're insane if you think I'm letting you go on a date with another man
Me: I never agreed to be exclusive with you. I'm a free woman who doesn't know what she wants
Declan James: BS.
Declan James: Whatever. Have fun with Loverboy

I chew on my nail as I read his response. It's shitty of me, I know. But I have every right to want to see if there's something there. Jonathon is sweet. He's good with Axel. He's... Safe. And safe is what I need.

So, yeah, I'm going to go. I can go, and at least prove something to myself. Because if not, then I may spend the next however many years wondering what could've happened if I'd just said yes. This may be the wake-up call I need to see what I'm ready for when it comes to relationships because I haven't even been on a date in years.

"Hey, Jonathon." I jog down the hallway until he stops and turns around. "Does seven o'clock work, tonight?"

A grin takes over his face, and already I feel... Nothing. I feel nothing for him. "Seven works great."

I plaster a smile on my face. "Great. I'll see you then."

My phone lights up with a text message.

Declan: You know what, you should go. You're right, you are a free woman. You have every right to date other men because I haven't done anything to claim you as mine.

And something about his words, lets me know that something is up. I'm just not sure what.

The rest of the school day drags on before it's time for another assembly. Declan didn't stop by to see me, or even come in early, but I'm not sure I'm entirely surprised. I don't know if I just deflated his ego, or actually hurt his feelings.