Breathe Easy

|5.| Watch me fall deeper

A couple of minutes before actually knocking on Camila's door, I stood there stalling, resting my head on the door frame in silence. There was the faint sound of music playing on the other side, so I quietly sang along until I came up with the courage to make my presence known, pressing my fingertips along the patterns of the white wooden door directly in front of my face. Why couldn't she just make it easier and come out already? Why did I have to feel the need to apologize?

As these thoughts ambushed my brain, it soon occurred to me that Camila was right. She was so right about me. I'd done something impulsive, and here I was moping around the apartment wondering why this was happening in the first place.

She definitely needed an apology. Tuck away your fear and pride, Jauregui. You're goin' in.

I softly knocked and took a few steps back. Shuffling came from the other side, then small footsteps. When she finally opened the door, I was slouching like I had no desire to be there in front of her at all, but at least I looked apologetic. Well, I hoped I did.

Camila gave me a critical once-over and rolled her eyes a little.

"Hey, so I've realized something," I mumbled, my voice hardly audible. "You are right and I am wrong, about everything I said. I am an impulsive idiot, and I'm sorry for lashing out on you. I really am, Camila. I didn't mean any of it. You are an amazing person."

Without a word, she stared at me, her face softening over time as she digested my apology. Camila bit her bottom lip, idly looking me up and down. She had a smug look on her face almost, like she knew I'd be coming in here to apologize because she just knew I couldn't possibly ever be mean to a face like hers and think nothing of it ever again.

"You can be such a hothead," she said, wagging her head from side to side.

"Me? That's not true. I just got a little heated because Lacey had already made me angry. What about you, walking in giving people the silent treatment?"

She broke our gaze, still smirking. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Not amused, I closed our distance and pushed the door open a little more before attempting to go inside. Camila abruptly placed her palm on my shoulder, stepping in front of me to push me back in my place.

I looked down at her hand in surprise, then back up at her. "Said that I was sorry a minute ago. I can't come in?"

She pulled a genuinely confused expression. "You're what? I didn't ever hear the actual apology part."

She heard me say it. I knew damn well that she had.

"I am sorry for being a bitch," I said with reluctance, eyes clinging to hers intensely.

Camila smiled and tilted her chin higher in what seemed like triumph. She remained quiet for a while, but when she finally did make a sound, she said, "You have some kind of sauce on your face, Lauren. I'm not really sure what it is."

I pinched my eyes shut and bowed my head. "Do you accept my apology, Camila?"

I was becoming impatient.

She grazed my cheek, right at the edge of my mouth with her thumb - that she'd previously licked - in an attempt to get whatever it was on my face to come off. I almost drew back sharply on instinct, but I didn't want her to think I was repulsed by this gesture. Any normal person would have been, right? But we were friends. Close enough to wipe each others faces with our wet thumbs, apparently.

"Of course I do," she answered softly. "You were upset. I understand. I've had worst said to me." Camila turned on her heel and casually sashayed back into her room.