A Tweak In Time (KTH) •Ongoing•

▶ Chapter XIX

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Please, please let me erase

all of your memories of me.

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Jungkook should've trusted his instincts earlier that day.

Never in his life had he had thought about getting debarred so soon at such a tender age. He should've just taken another, longer path to reach home but he knew he couldn't stall this moment for long but the pain would come later, even if it was just a few moments late.

Sitting alone in a mediocre wooden room with a youthful picture of his mom in front him, Jeon Jungkook couldn't bring himself to cry. He stayed there the longest as guests came and went. Many came into this very room and offered condolences but he was deaf to those. It seemed like the smile his mother adorned in the black and white picture was the one she stole from him. He couldn't cry his sorrows out, nor he could smile without looking like he was at the brink of death.

A piece of clothing had never choked him so much. He loosened up his tie and at that moment, he felt a burning sensation at the back of his eyes as his nose kept getting redder and redder. He blamed it on the incense stick but he very well knew the scent was not at the fault here because he wanted himself to be confused about the cause of the incoming tears.

The whole house was desolate. Apparently, his dad had travelled to the countryside to secure a job a few hours ago but he wasn't aware that majority of the companies, small or big, were shut down because of the dwelling economic crisis. Yet, Jungkook sat in the same place for as long as he could remember.

He felt like Death had come knocking to door and silently took the woman away, whom he loved the most in this world, while he slept and slept and enjoyed the temporary bliss of the dream which he couldn't even remember after waking up.

He heard the distant whispers of his neighbours that his mother had hung herself because her money was lost in an investment in a company named...Tohi?, Yes- Dohui. Jungkook didn't even know that he could resent a company to this extent.

He still remembered the tune he was whistling before he stumbled upon a little oil lamp illuminated outside his home and that tune dissipated along with his ability to feel anything. The way the bag of rice fell down with a loud thud when he encountered the solemn faces of the people inside was still engrave in his mind.

Walking in, he was faced with a even more challenging sight. There, on the small pedestal, stood tall a photo frame embracing a photograph of his mother from her early twenties as the colloidal smoke wafted around it. Fruits and flowers were presented to it as Jungkook fell down to his knees with his mouth wide open in shock. At that moment, Jungkook didn't know what he was feeling. Was it sadness, or relief that she wouldn't have to suffer in poverty anymore?

"This is unfair." He finally spoke after a painfully long time but his voice was no less than a breath.

"Take me with you, I can't handle it anymore. And without you here, I think I've hit the rock bottom, mom." Jungkook sighed out as his eyes trailed over every smile lines, dimples and her face yelling youth. But then, he drove his attention to himself.

He was nothing like his mother.

Even though he was an adult and a senior in the highschool with the peak of his youth arriving soon, he felt no such happiness her mother radiated from the picture. He shouldn't feel envious of her lifestyle before she married his father but he can't help it. If she didn't fall in love with him and married him, then she'd still be thriving right now even if it meant that he wouldn't exist anymore.