Dork Diaries 9: Tales From a Not-So Dorky Drama Queen [#Wattys2015]

Sunday, April 6th

I could barely get my beauty sleep last night. Mostly because I was thinking how on earth could a hunk like Brandon ever want to date such an obsolete creature like Nikki "Bug Girl" Maxwell. Plus my phone kept on chiming and chiming from all the students adding bug puns on my thread on Kik about Nikki's secret.

Wow, Mac, how come you didn't think of spilling the beans on bug girl sooner?

But the lack of my much needed sleep took its toll. I woke up....WITH BAGS UNDER MY EYES! AHHHHH!

I was hyperventilating and almost forgot how to breath. I have NEVER (emphasize never times a million, hon) experienced having disgusting black curves under my big and beautiful diamond blue eyes.

Ugh! Now I have to use double the concealer on my eyes which will definitely clog some parts of my pores. Why is my life so atrocious?!!

Well, I guess it's all in the means of getting my revenge. But just to make sure, I sent a DM (direct message) via Instagram to my boo, Brandon.

"Hey, Brandy! I totally miss you. I wish you accepted my invite to go with me to my trip at my Aunt Clarissa's beach house. She owns the Westchester Institute of Cosmetology just in case you forgot! In fact, you forget a lot of things. Like getting me that super cute sparkly tube top I wanted for my birthday. Oh, and kissing me at my locker every morning. Anyway, I wanted to know if you're dating Nikki (whose IQ is the same as a toilet plunger's). Toodles!"

He usually doesn't answer immediately (come to think of it, he hasn't really answered any of my messages ever) so I decide to hit the beach again and just waste a few hours tanning and staring in awe at the spectacular hotness of those Sumner boys.

But as I was heading out of the house, the phone chimes. BRANDON SAW THE DM AND COMMENTED ON IT! I dropped my beach bag and my stomach was churning to see what he had wrote.

"I'm sick of you making fun of Nikki. She is amazing and you will never add up to her in my eyes. Plus I don't appreciate you calling me a type of liquor. I wouldn't get you a $300 piece of clothing or kiss you because I'm not your boyfriend. I'm Nikki's. I really don't want anything to do with you. I'm sorry. Have a nice life.

P.S. Please stop calling my grandma's house. It's annoying. "

By now, I'm sobbing my heart out. NO! NOW MY MASCARA IS RUNNING! AHHHHHHHHH! WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK?

Hey guys. Sorry for not updating for so long. Well now I did. :)