Letters from a teenager with the mindset of an adult

Times Game

The past will never change or erase itself.
What's done has been written into the book of my life with pen.
It will never warp itself into what I want it to be.
What I need it to be.
The past will never ever change.
So now and the years to come, I shall forever be stuck with the consequences of choices I did not make, words I did not say.
My hands are now forever slick and dirty with sins I did not commit.
My throat is now dry, for I have not yet taken a breath between my sentences, for what shall happen if I do not empty the overflowing thoughts from my mind.
But what if I do?
What if the clock that had been ticking ever so slowly was nothing but a mere hallucination?
What if everything that had stopped me then, stopping me now, wasn't ever real?
What if, all along, it had been me.
Counting down to the very last second.
Squeezing out the last couple breaths.
Draining my soul.
Had it all been for nothing?
The years I had spent dwelling on the matter of not using every moment of life to the fullest.
Had that been what truly held me back?
It does not matter if the past may never change.
It does not matter if the future stays the same.
For it is now that matters.
It is now that desperately matters.
The past will never change.
And it is those moments now stuck in time that have built the person I am today.