So Alone

Proloque: Enter Kaitlyn

**8th Grade**
"Hey!" I yelled out to my friend as I ran through the hallway into the lunchroom, slouching down into my seat. My face was red, and anxiety was bursting throughout. She wasn't a true friend, someone who would let you cry on a shoulder, but I made my decision. He must know somehow.
"I would like you to give him this letter." I said, with my chest held up high to cover my anxiety.
Her face lit up,  she has been dying for me to finally somehow tell him. "Of course! I'll tell you the results tomorrow!"
Throughout the day, my mind was set on different reactions I could see him having. He was a great friend, someone who helped me, and made me feel happy about myself. So I thought if he didn't like me back, he would calmly tell me no. Which I would gladly accept and we would still be friends! It would just feel great to get the feeling I have been holding back out of me. I smiled deeply.

But months past and he hasn't spoke to me ever since I gave him that letter. I've lost all hope. My best friend, gone? What was I supposed to do? Every time we make sudden eye contact it's like staring at a cold, lifeless robot. Instead of the nice, caring guy I knew. My parents told me he was just embarrassed, and that it would take time for him to speak back. I had other thoughts, but I chose to believe them.. Then there was a dance coming up. My parents forced me to ask him if he was going, or I would be punished. So I gave him a note. He yelled no at me, and I was shocked by his harsh tone.

"No one to run to, no one to care." I told myself in my bathroom mirror. "No one loves you. You're ugly. No wonder you don't have any friends." I stopped eating, took naps during the day, and stayed in my room or the bathroom to cry. My parent's couldn't hear me. Until one day, once I put my food aside, I cried to my mom. And told her everything.
"Don't pay attention to him. I don't ever want you to be friends with him again. He is just a person. Push him aside, you'll be fine."