Blitzø drives the I.M.P van down the street to the company building while terribly singing a song playing on the radio as Loona sits in the front passenger seat while Millie, Moxxie and Y/n sit in the back.
Blitzø: I love this song!
Blitzø begins to poorly sing along with "Mustang Dong" on the radio.
Loona becomes mildly annoyed, wincing at her adoptive father's off-key singing as he rocked to the music. Moxxie covers his ears in an attempt to block out the terrible singing. Y/n couldn't help but cringe, not able to ignore it while he and Loona were scrolling through their phones. Millie rolls down her window and smiles as they drive into the office building's parking lot at full speed.
Suddenly, a pink car speeds into the lot and pulls into their parking space.
Blitzø: Oh, shit! Fu-
Blitzø slams onto the brakes and the van screeches and swerves before coming to a stop. He turns off the radio and pokes himself out the car window, glares at the driver of the pink car and glances at the license plate which reads "SUCKS-4-LIFE".
Blitzø: Oh, you "suck for life", do ya?! (pulls out a megaphone) Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot! (the passenger steps out of her front car seat with high heels, causing Blitzø to lower the megaphone, shocked) Oh, shit! Verosika!
Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.
Verosika: Blitzo.
Blitzø: I should've known you'd be here! I could smell fish for miles which is odd cause I believe the nearest ocean is… (Blitzø falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up) …three rings down!
Verosika: And I should've known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.
Blitzø: Oh yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab. I can still see you're a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in hell!
Verosika: They let me out because I'm still famous, and rehab if for sad, loser washups. (she takes a swig from a flask) So, your sister says hi~
Blitzø: Why are you parking here? This is the only parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!
Verosika: Actually Prick! It has my name on it. (she points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet with "I.M.P" crossed out on the ground) And I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building…
Meanwhile, Loona watches on from inside the van with a look of disbelief on her face.
Loona: No way…
Curious, Y/n pokes his head up to see what was going on.
Verosika continues her argument.
Verosika: ...and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break.
Blitzø: A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!
Verosika removes her sunglasses.
Verosika: Awww, you mad, Blitzo? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car and run…
Blitzø/ Verosika: …run three rings to Wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!
Blitzø: Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!
Verosika: Choke on a sandpaper cock.
Verosika gives him the finger and walks away. Loona fearfully lowers her head in the van, pulling a confused Y/n down with her.
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Hotline (Helluva Boss x Male Jacket Reader)
FanficAfter being executed in 1991, Y/n, a.k.a "Jacket," is sent to Hell for his actions in Miami. A few years elapsed since his arrival. He's made quite a name for himself, earning a reputation as a well-known contract killer. (A/n: Please note that som...
