Six Months & Five Days | Yeonbin

[7]

Soobin POV.

We were finally back in Korea. We spent one month in America, it was fun but I was glad to be back in Seoul. I wanted to visit Yeonjun badly but the doctors said they weren't accepting guests, they didn't say why but I didn't bother arguing.

We were about to start a live, on Weverse. We finally decided to tell everyone the truth.
"Are you guys ready?" I asked, receiving nods from the other members.

I started the 'live' and sat down in my seat. Immediately people started to join, I said "hi" to MOAs and waited for the other members. Gyu, Tae, and Kai walked into the frame also saying "hi" to MOA. Beomgyu sat on my right whilst Huening and Tae were on my left.

"Let's play a game before we tell them," Taehyun suggested.
"Yeah, we don't want to worry them immediately as soon as they join" I agree.
"Some people might also join late," Beomgyu says.

"The four of us are gonna play a couple games, and then we have something to tell everyone after it," I inform. "The 'live' will be a little short today," I say.
We begin by playing "The Frying Pan Game"

"I'll start!" Beomgyu shouts, "ting-ting-ting-ting, tang-tang-tang-tang, ting-ting tang-tang, Hoo ra i pan no ri!"

We finished playing and are getting ready to let Moa know. "Everyone good now?" I asked, they all nodded their heads and sat down. "So as you all know, Yeonjun Hyung has been on hiatus..." I glanced at the comments.

'Where is he?'
'Is he ok?'
'What happened?'
'Why?'
'They're telling us why?'
'Are we finally gonna know why?'
'I was wondering why he wasn't in the live?'

I took a deep breath in and out, "Do you want one of us to say it Hyung?" Kai asked.

"No no, it's ok. I'll say it," I reassured.

I turned back ready to tell everyone, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth, 'He's in the hospital' That's all I had to say. I clenched my teeth, tears rolled down my face. Subconsciously I began uncontrollably sobbing, the others were quick to react. Beomgyu wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer, he rubbed my back and ruffled my hair. Taehyun scooted closer grabbing my hand, Huening also scooted closer asking if I was ok. I couldn't help but think the comments were filled with everyone calling me 'crybaby' or 'overreacting'.

I knew Moa wouldn't say that, or maybe they would...

I turned my head slightly looking at the comments, they were all asking what was wrong. And if I was ok. It lifted some stress off my shoulder but I couldn't help but think some of them thought I was overreacting even if they didn't say it.

"Should I tell them?" Hyuka asked, all I did was nod and bury it into Beomgyu's shoulder, still sobbing but softer. Huening Kai took a deep breath and looked at the camera, "Junnie Hyung, the reason he's on hiatus... is because he's in the hospital." I let out a louder sob, Beomgyu caressed me in his arms whispering in my ear, telling me everything will be ok.

"It's ok Hyung, everything will be ok." He said, I lifted my head looking at the comments once again.

'Oh my god!'
'What happened?'
'Is he ok?'
'Yeonjun Oppa 😥'
'Is he gonna die?!?!'
'You're kidding right?'
'Soobin Oppa :( don't cry'
'I hope he's ok'
'We'll pray for you 🙏'

I buried my face back into Beomgyu's Shoulder, wrapped my arms around him, and closed my eyes. His hands remained on my back and hair. I heard Huening Kai continue, he told Moa what happened and how it happened.

My sobs were softer but still heard. Maybe I wasn't ready to tell everyone, but it was too late now. I wasn't even the one who told them. Just like always I'm pathetic and can't do anything on my own. I might as well just get kicked from the group or demoted as the leader, I don't deserve any of this. Not after I let Yeonjun Hyung get hurt.

"I'm sorry I need a moment," I said. I stood up out of Beomgyu's embrace and quickly walked off camera. I went over to my room, opened the door, stepped inside, and shut it behind me.

Just then tears started flowing down, more than earlier, I was ugly crying.

How pathetic

I walked to my bed still sobbing. I sat down on the floor, my back to the bedside as I rubbed my hand on the carpet. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I remember Yeonjun Hyung telling me to feel my surroundings and to know where I am if I ever like this. He was right, it helped, but not this time. No matter where I touched or what I felt, nothing changed. I fell on my side, now laying on the ground.

I began breathing faster and I couldn't control it, the sobs getting louder. I covered my ears which felt on fire, the world felt like it was spinning. The sudden claustrophobia, the rising anxiety, the dizziness. I felt sick like I could throw up at any moment. I shut my eyes tight, trying to ignore the real world. Clearing my mind, but nothing worked. All I could think of was that Yeonjun Hyung was in a coma and we'd have to go through our world tour without him.

I screamed still crying my heart out, why won't these thoughts leave? Couldn't I go one day without having to stress over and think about this? At this point, I had completely forgotten we were 'live'. I screamed and cried. I was having a panic attack and this time I couldn't calm down.

I heard the door swing open, it startled me, and my breathing became even more unsteady. I felt someone's arms wrap around me, I couldn't tell who but they were holding me close and stroking my hair. It got better and I tried calming myself down. Without knowing who it was, I imagined it was Yeonjun Hyung comforting me and telling me everything would be ok. I wanted to be in his arms, but I wasn't and he wasn't here.

Whoever it was, they placed their hand on my cheek, rubbing in circles, "It's ok Hyung, I'm here." He said.

Oh, it's you huh? Of course, it is. It's always you, you've always been there for me.

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