If only...

23. She was special.

SAM POV÷

I do not think that anyone will deny that the university years are the best period in the life of anyone who lived the experience, especially with the availability of an environment that gives you complete freedom, as my experience, the academic years at the university, and especially the first two years. I lived without being subject to any rules other than my own and did whatever I wanted without thinking. Whether what I was doing was right or not, I was surrounded by people clapping and cheering for me no matter what I did, not because they loved me, but those were the privileges of being someone from an artistic family in a society that glorifies and privileges those with power and influence, yes, it was fun that You feel that those around you will justify your actions, no matter how wrong they are,
But being in such a sick milieu made me believe day after day that sticking to the thoughts that I used to believe in were right because Most of the people who surrounded me were fake and hypocritical people, and this type of people you can get anything from them except loyalty and credibility, so almost all my relationships, especially sexual ones, were superficial relationships based on certain rules, the first of which was non-commitment to any duties towards the other party And to be honest, that was a good thing, I mean to go into a relationship where you don't expect anything from it but fun and end it when you're bored without continuing with something you don't want just because you feel responsible for it as it was with my father, all the girls who were with me knew The rules were well, and they accepted them with full awareness and desire. In the end, everything was agreed upon. Yes, there were those who broke the rules and thought that our relationship might turn into something else, but I always withdrew and ended everything in such cases
But I couldn't do it just once, I couldn't even though that girl was clear about what she wanted, but I was the one playing hide and seek and if you are asking me why I would be frank with you and tell you that even I didn't know.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of drinking coffee somewhere and the flavor of that distinctive coffee remains in your mouth until you start comparing everything you drink with that flavor?

yes mon made me feel like this, she was so special since the first time i saw her with those innocent and confused looks in her eyes at the college dating party.
before you thought i was thinking dirty about that girl let me tell you that you are wrong, when i saw her with those innocent eyes and red cheeks, there was no idea in my head except that that girl was too much to be in the midst of people like me, and the bad thing was that she was not ready to face the falsity and cruelty of such a world.
When I saw her sitting quietly and innocently waiting for the bus for the first time, the first thing I thought was that she must be cold in such weather, the temperature was very low and it would surely rain at any moment, perhaps before the bus came, so without hesitation I parked The car and made her get into the car regardless of her continuous refusal.
The next day, the same thing happened again until it became a daily habit that lasted for a month, five days a week. If you are asking why someone like me does that, I will tell you that I am not a bad person, but simply, I was living my life in my own way, nothing more.

When I knew that Mon had grown up without a mother and a father who spent most of the time at work, I felt sympathy for her because he knew very well what loneliness of not having someone to share the journey with you step by step, at least I had a sister but for Mon she was completely alone.

What It made me find that her company was not difficult that she was very smart, she knew when to speak and she knew when to remain silent in serious situations, but what bothered me was that she was very soft, fragile and without experiences, she was twenty years old but she did not know what she wanted, She was clearly distracted, so I was not missing any opportunity to try to get her out of her safe zone to have new experiences, and Alex's party was one of those attempts that ended unexpectedly.
What happened at that party made me realize that I was wrong to take her there, as she was not ready either, Those who were there were dirtier than having a girl like her among them, and the best example of that was Chris, who was ready to do anything to get her that night, but if anyone should be blamed for that, it is me, because if I had not left her alone, he would not have dared to approaching her or encouraging her to drink, when I saw how he was holding her With that sensual look in his eyes that night All I wanted at that moment was to separate his head from his body, that was not an option, but But later I found a way to took Mon right and others from him, and he paid the price dearly, as he got what he deserved.
That night, I was not only angry with Chris, but also with myself, because in my attempt to help Mon, I hurt her and took her to a middle that was not suitable for her, then left her easy prey to end up drunk for the first time in her life.
I did not hesitate to take her to my house that night because I didn't want to cause her problems with her father, but believe me, I didn't even think for a moment of exploiting her or doing something dirty, but what happened that night was out of my control.