As I've read the message of Woojin to me, I felt weakness throughout my body, I can't handle what I've been facing right now, besides to what I've seen today, there's no answer what happen to Sam's dad, and what my dad did to him.
But for now, all I need to do is to focus to my mom, she's not doing well, Livi called me that she have a heart attack, and as long as I remember, dad told me to take care of our mom's heart before he go through the surgery a reason of him to lost in our life.
A tears drop through my face and I can't see the road clearly because it's too blurry, I tried to wipe my eyes but I saw a cat that was about to cross over, I quickly hit the brakes but it's all too late... I already hit the cat. I cried and cried inside the car, and I don't have strength to see the cat lying in the middle of the road blood was scattering around.
I know I am being too exaggerated to become too emotional right now, but I don't know, I'm too fragile to handle things like this.
"Why do I need to suffer like this?"
As I close my eyes temporarily, My manager texted me that I need to get ready for the flight at midnight. I don't know what to do, if I should I call and go to Sam to say goodbye or just leave him without any goodbyes and left the past then move on?
Well I think it is much better since his dad doesn't like me from him, also we're not totally getting together for a long time. So I guess... a short time for us is enough, I think it's time to move on... besides I don't want to find the answers anymore... I guess that's much better.
~~~
I'm already in the flight but not into Korea, it's been a months when I left Japan and go to Korea to visit mom in the hospital. Thankfully she's fine now and we're now all heading to our origin country.
"We're here Yey! I Miss this place! Oh my I'm so happy and can't wait to meet mom's brother and our cousin here!"
"Hello! Australia!"
My sisters yelling and wondering the beauty of Australia but here I am, still not contented because I really feel that I left something that I need to clarify but I'm too idiot because I just disregard it.
"Livi! Rach and Lix come on kids I'll take a picture of you guys y'all are too handsome and beautiful kids, that I need to take a picture, hold the bouquet Livi"
"Okay mom!"
"Hana!"
"Dul!"
"Set!"
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"Wow, how I Miss Australia... the place where I met your dad... Lix..." when mom calls me he wipes her tears and I look at her. "You really look like your dad" Mom said while sniffing and as I heard it, I saw a full sadness in her eyes, Rach and Livi look at me then I nod, I hug mom and kiss her in the forehead.
"Mom it's okay, dad is already happy in heaven, he's doing good and besides we're here, we're not gonna let you feel alone okay? We love you Mom" My sisters cooed at us because of the drama scene but we just laugh then hug each other.
Sam's POV
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"Felix..."
"Where are you?"
"I did my best to find you but I didn't find you"
A tears fall from my sketch, I didn't expect that the fast he confess at me, the fast he get lost and leave me without saying anything, my dad is telling the truth, Felix just like his dad, leaving without any permission. Fuck you Felix! You wound me! I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you!
I maybe too dramatic but I honestly waited for him to meet him in the Fan meeting, I know I didn't hoping that he's gonna noticed me, I already accept the fact that I'm gonna be just a fan of him, not until he gave motivation to me and for fuck sake he just take an advantage of me for what? To play with my feelings? Just because he's a famous one? Fuck! He don't have rights to hurt people feelings, he's a bullshit I hate him! I hate him because I still want him and love him!
I scream louder to my room to ease away my anger and throw all the things at my table, I feel depress, I really like him, he's the one who I've been fell in love so much. I don't think if I'm able to be inlove again.
"Son!" My dad knocks through my door but I don't have time to rant at him, I just sit at the corner and cried.
