Cerulean Planet (Blue Dust Trilogy #1)

Chapter 20

The planet was frequently met with meteor showers, but if Jiayun and the monster were to make careful observations and calculations, their signs could be predicted in advance. The meteorites never struck down on the cave they lived in, but to be on the safe side, the two of them would always hide inside caves deep under the ocean.

Jiayun sat inside the monster. He put his head against his knees, turning it to the side to stare at the monster's face.

The water hummed in vibration every once in a while and the blue light the monster emitted would sway and flicker with it. Jiayun watched the monster and reflected on their days. He experienced meteor showers, found a new settlement, built a house, and then, fell seriously ill. The monster had taken a heavy toll for his sake, so much so that their size had become comparable to his own.

Sensing this, the monster began replenishing themselves at an astonishing rate. They ate just about everything. Sometimes the monster would carry Jiayun inside their body and take him out to sea. They would open their mouth, cast it wide open like a net, and take in every fish big and small passing by. Jiayun watched them envelop and gather the fish into one area inside their translucent body, then watched them slowly disintegrate until nothing was left.

After a few rounds, the monster's body returned to the same size as when they first met.

But the monster didn't stop there. Like a balloon, they continued to grow no matter how much Jiayun mocked them for it, becoming an enormous being.

But Jiayun understood that they did all of this for him.

"I've always wanted to ask. Your species can become immortal, but have many of your kin died? How did they die?"

The monster created a humanoid form of themselves inside their body, mirroring Jiayun's position in sitting. They turned to him and said, "I know of very few immortals. The last kin I coupled with was the only immortal that I had met. I know of many kin who have died. We are not indestructible. As long as our mind is tied to a physical body, it will perish with the perishing of our flesh and bones. In reality, when compared to humans, we merely do not grow sick nor old and have more malleable and stronger bodies. That is all."

The monster's figure underwent a series of changes and a wisp of twinkling starlight appeared in front of Jiayun. "This is my 'brain.' Normally, it is kept hidden and protected deep inside my body, but it is very sensitive and fragile. If our brains are destroyed, we die."

The monster made it so that the flow of information inside their body became more visually concrete. Their body began to glisten the way the monster's form did when he first saw it underwater. Jiayun was mesmerized by it. "It's beautiful."

The monster displayed their 'brain' and conversed with Jiayun all the while. "The act of coupling is the merging of brains between two individuals to undergo information copying and exchange."

"Then..." Jiayun began, "Do you feel any regret that the last kin you coupled with forbade you from coupling with others of your kind?"

"Why would that be the case?" the monster asked. "From that point forth, all of my memories, everything that I see, hear, and feel, will always be my own."

"I still don't quite know if you have emotions. Do you feel happiness and fear?" Jiayun asked.

The monster countered, "Do you still think of me as a monster?"

Jiayun said nothing, but moved his body and gathered the monster's humanoid form in his arms.

"There's a kind of belief among humans, or rather, an ancient myth, that each person possesses a soul. Souls cannot perish. When the body dies, the soul will reincarnate inside a new body," he said.

"If that is the case, then humans are the ones who are truly immortal."

"But all of your memories will be gone. The soul is always pure. No trace of its past life will remain."

"As you say, life withers with the passage of time. If every hundred years is a cycle in which everything was forgotten, then would you not live on forever?"

"Maybe." Jiayun tightened his arms around the monster. "But I don't believe in such a thing. I only cherish the things I have right now. I only see what's in front of me. I can't pin my hopes on some faraway reverie."

"I understand."

"If it was possible, I wish I could live with you like this, on and on, even if we can't go anywhere. We can be right here, just the two of us. We'll live like this forever."

"Everything is only just beginning. What if you grow weary of it all?"

"It doesn't matter if I grow weary. I have no choice, don't I?"

The monster smiled and whispered in his ear, "When that day comes, I'll turn into a woman for you."

Jiayun felt his blood surging at those words. He turned his head to nibble on the monster's ear.

"The meteor shower is over. We can head back up."

Once they returned to land, the monster shifted back into their humanoid form. Though a few meteorites had struck the island, they didn't cause too much damage. The cave they lived in had kept the meteorites at bay, but some of the stalactites had fallen from the ceiling from the vibration, piercing their house in several spots.

Jiayun went over to check on the fish he was keeping while the monster cleaned up the gravel and stalactites, then began repairing their home.

Jiayun watched the titan-like monster moving about nonstop and suddenly called out to them.

"Jianing."

The monster halted their steps at his voice, put down what they had in their hands, and made a few quick strides over to stand in front of Jiayun.

Jiayun had to really tilt his head when talking to them, so he said, "Lower."

The monster knelt on one knee in front of him.

Jiayun watched him quietly, but the monster was the one who grew impatient first. "You had something you wanted to say to me?" they asked.

Jiayun replied, "Yes. With your body being so big, your head looks way too small. It's a bit jarring. How about this. You can turn excess parts of your body into a tail, like a dinosaur. That might look a bit better."

"Are you being serious?" Jiayun had teased the monster more than once about this recently. They knew he was joking.

Jiayun fell silent again. He stared wordlessly at the monster.

In the end, he told the monster, "I love you."

The monster, too, stared back at him.

"Maybe you'll find it a bit strange, but this is how humans are. We can't help it. You might never be able to understand what it feels like, and it's not something I can really describe. But since you know human language, then you should know what those words mean." After the confession, Jiayun became embarrassed and words began stumbling out of his mouth. "I'm not asking you for anything, nor am I telling you to do something about it. You're perfectly fine the way you are. I thought that since I'd already come to the realization, it would be best to inform you about it."

Jiayun cradled the monster's head in his hands as he spoke, then sealed their lips. After the kiss, he earnestly spoke those same words again, "I love you."