The Abominaballs

Part 1

Huddled beside the warming, cheering glow of a crackling campfire, carefully uncorking his third bottle of Auld Scrote single malt whisky of the day, sat Professor Jack Travesty; the strong spirit imbibed, as he often explained, purely to keep out the cold. The professor, a rugged, well-built individual of 35 years, squinted somewhat as tired, bleary eyes and frozen features were battered by the biting, bitter blast of the wind; his field of vision severely restricted now that night had fallen. In appearance, the professor's heavily lined, weatherworn features nestled beneath a blonde, bushy beard; his head of tangled hair warmed by a woollen hat as he sank lower inside the comfort of a thick fleecy jacket.

In a recent interview with the Daily Piehole newspaper, Travesty had described himself to reporters as the world's foremost researcher and investigator into the study of unknown beasts. In the future, the scientific community would one day recognise, though never truly accept, the study of cryptozoology; however the year was 1935, the professor regarded as something of a pioneer by the public, though little more than an obstinate, delusional daydreamer by his fellow naturalists. Of course, the reporters had scoffed at the suggestion of dinosaurs still lurking in those uncharted areas of the Congo, and of huge, hairy humanoids hiding out in the forests of North America; publishing a scathing article regarding the professor's apparently unsettled state of mind. Yet Travesty cared not, resolved to the task of one day proving the sceptics and detractors wrong.

The professor's obsession with the unknown had begun one evening whilst seated in the back garden of his cottage in the sleepy village of Cottingley, Northern England; swigging deeply from his fourth bottle of single malt shortly after twilight, the astonished Travesty had witnessed fairies dancing beneath the trees and hedgerows bordering the grounds. Some months later, the professor, now devoted full time to his newly-discovered studies of unknown creatures, had mounted an expedition to seek the legendary monster of Loch Ness; sure enough, the normally elusive beast had put in an appearance, accompanying Travesty for a few verses of Donald Where's Yer Troosers? whilst sinking a bottle or two of the hard stuff. But for now, the professor had found himself lured to the Himalayas in search of that most celebrated of cryptids; the Abominable Snowman of Tibet.

The long journey from England had proved most eventful, for whilst sailing by steamship from Hull to Calcutta, the professor had observed many mermaids frolicking bare-chested in the waves of the Indian Ocean; inviting him to join them. He would have accepted their invitation in a heartbeat, had it not been for the timely intervention of his assistant John; the young man confiscating Travesty's fifth bottle of single malt of the day before assisting the professor to his bunk. From Calcutta, the pair had travelled to Darjeeling, replenishing supplies upon arrival before marching the many kilometres north to the foothills of Tibet; soon Travesty had ingratiated himself with the abbot of the Ded Set monastery.

Abbot Singsong and the monks in his care had long accepted the reality of the Abominable Snowmen, regarding the creatures as other-worldly entities that commanded respect. These beasts were described to Travesty as possessing enormous strength, yet at the same time adopting a shy, secretive existance; certainly the Snowmen had never proved so bold as to approach the walls of the monastery, it was said.

Suddenly the silence, interrupted only by the harshness of the wind whistling across the mountainside, accompanied by the occasional crackle of the campfire, was shattered by a snapping sound; as though something of no small size had stepped upon a fallen branch at the edge of a dense stretch of forest.