As the Seasons Grey

6th Avenue Heartache

Christine's heart soared as she and Alex strode on out to the wide open street before them after their lunch: the clouds gathered around the halo of the sun but the day could not be brighter. He nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose and showed her a sweet little smile.

"That was perfect, wasn't it?" he asked her.

"It could not have been more perfect!" she declared.

He ran his fingers through his black hair and cleared his throat.

"Not to mention, that food just absolutely hit the spot this time around," he continued. "I don't know why, either."

She resisted the urge to tell him that it was because he had paid for it instead of her, and she knew that she would have to find a way to give him a piece of pie as well, given they hadn't had that, either. He stood next to her and beamed down at her: his glasses slid down the bridge of his nose a bit to show off his deep-set bright blue eyes to her, lined with those thick dark eyebrows. He looked as though he wanted to tell her a secret of some kind.

"I have time by the way," she told him.

"I would hope that you do," he said with a sly little smirk on his face. Out of the corner of her eye, Christine saw Nelly making her way over to the door on the far side of the room, right behind him, as if she was about to stalk the two of them. She hoped that she wouldn't, just so Nelly wouldn't have to put herself up to a situation like that. She and Alex descended the stairs before them down to the sidewalk: the clouds overhead swirled around and changed between light and dark tones, and it was hard to say if more rain was upon them.

She returned her gaze to the street before them, and she expected to see the doors to the cafeteria open for Nelly to step on out, but she never did. Alex tucked his hands into his jean pockets, and he let his satisfied belly hang forth over his black leather belt. Christine pursed her lips together at the sight of him, and she resisted the urge to do something about it. His shirt hugged his body and accentuated the full shape of his waist. She imagined herself touching him there at some point: there was nothing that should hold her back when she thought about it. Absolutely nothing.

Christine shivered under her long green jacket and adjusted her grip on the strap of her bag. Though it wasn't cold out, she still shuddered at the thought of him being in the arms of another woman. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something about the thought of him not by her side all the time that only made her want him all for herself. It was a thought that lingered in the back of her mind, and more so when he spoke again.

"What's on your mind at the moment?"

"I really have no clue what I want to do in life, Alex," she confessed to him. "I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what I want, period. And it's hard for me to set goals, too."

"You know, if it's any comfort to you, Christine, I don't know what I want out of life, either. Except for maybe 'peace of mind' but that's about it."

"I just think about how there's this constant feeling of having to pick choose a career and staying with it for decades, and yet—there's just so much that I like, between playing around with clay and doing art. There's a huge part of me that just doesn't want to do only one thing, whereas I feel immense pressure to choose."

"Again, if it's any comfort, I feel the same way, too. I started out playing guitar, playing rock n roll guitar, and then I got bored with it and expanded with it. Some days I feel so limited with it, and other days, it's like the sky is the limit."

"Is that why you teach?"

"Nah, I teach because it's fun and it's yet another thing I've always wanted to do. When I sub, I don't just want to limit myself to Mr. Hansen's class, as much as I like you guys. Sometimes I do literature classes, and this week, I'm going to substitute for chemistry."