People don't talk about being in the middle of a personality crisis enough for me nowadays. Some of you might ask, what is a personality crisis? What traits come along with having that? Is that just some made up bullshit that you came up with in your head, Carter? Let me just start off by saying, a personality crisis is real as shit and at least 99.9% of y'all are going through it right now. You just don't know you are yet.
Let me just break it down plain and simple for you. Take a second, and ask yourself "Who Am I?" If you can't answer that question within 10 seconds of you asking that open ended question, you are indeed going through a personality crisis. Basically, a personality crisis is when you're struggling to figure out who you are as a person, what you like and what you don't like, or how you respond to yourself when certain things happen in your life. There are many other traits that go along, but I just gave you the key ones so I don't bore you to death within the first portion.
Quite frankly, I ask myself the "Who Am I" question at least 30 times a day and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing. Especially right now. You're a newly, young adult, cut yourself some slack. Thinking that you have to know who you are, word for word, bar for bar, in this moment of your life is pretty bizzare. You're going to go through many things in life that alter you as a person, wether those things be good or bad; but, you can't forget that figuring out who you are is based on how you and only you, set out a goal to figure out who you are deep down inside. For some of us, it takes heartbreak, being isolated, or an act of embezzlement of other people's personalities to figure out yours.
Total random thought though, have you ever watched a tv show or movie and a certain character's personality just kind of alters your brain a little bit? It's like, they're so badass so you lowkey steal their personality for like a month? Yeah, same.
Anywho, back to the topic at hand.
In order to find out who you are, and what aligns with the person you're trying to become, you have to isolate yourself from certain things and certain people. It can be hard starting out, especially if you're one of those people who don't like being alone. Don't always take ghosting as being a bad thing, its actually good when you're trying to make things make sense in your life. Most of the time, when it comes to ghosting, your friends/family/relationship partner might take you disappearing as a sign of mischief. Always remember though, its your decision wether you'd like to explain to them why you've vanished into thin air, but at the same time you're not obligated to.
I honestly hate that certain people in your life feel entitled to you telling them your every move. In my opinion, you don't have to tell people why you aren't answering the phone, or why you don't feel like going out, or why you haven't posted on instagram in 2 days. If we're being honest, it's nobody's damn business. I'll just take the time out to say that if you're one of those friends whom call a friend "some timey" or get mad at them because they've ghosted, you're not a good friend. In my opinion, if you're a friend, partner or acquaintance of someone who has fluctuating moods, you have to understand that some people need their space and sometimes they don't want or have to voice that if they don't feel like it.
Finding you can be tricky. I'm struggling with it right now but thats because I don't want to be what the internet says people should be like these days. I don't want to like the same thing everybody else likes, i don't want to do the same thing everybody else does. I want to be different, I want to figure out what makes me Carter.
So please believe me when I say you're not alone in this process, and its perfectly normal to go through this process. There are people who've been on this earth for over a decade who still don't know who they are, like our parents for example. You might think you're the only one, but you're not. Some people just put on a front like they have it all figured out, but its all a facade!
Study you. Focus on you. Re-learn you and put all the broken pieces of you back together.
