Not Samragini Draupadi But Just Krishnaa

Poem (Ardi)

"ARYA!!!"

Subhadra yelled as she entered his... Sorry, their chamber.

"Hmm..."

Subhadra looked at the bed to witness him laying on the bed and looking at the ceiling. Weird... Her husband never sat idle and today...

"Why are you sleeping now? People are waiting for you to come to start the godh bharai rasam, " she told him as she picked out his clothes and jewelry. He was the only one who was not ready for the occasion.

"Tell them I am not feeling Bhadara and where is Abhi?" Arjun spoke in a whisper as if he was in deep thought.

"Please Arya, don't do this, Sahdev and Jiji will feel bad and Abhimanyu is with Jiji. She wanted to get him ready along with other uppandavs, "Subhadra told him in a hurry and asked him to get ready again and this time he looked at her.

Blank

That's how she could describe his face now. She had never seen him so emotionless till now to her but then to her relief he nodded and asked her to leave which she did as she went to Draupadi's room to pick Abhi. Arjun sighed and got ready for the function.

"Madhav, Madhav, where are you..?" Arjun whispered as he roamed through the ground like an aimless soul. Finally, to his relief, he heard a pearl of divine laughter and smiled broadly. Making up his mind he went to that place in the hopes of finding his dear Madhav, only he could soothe him now. He face-palmed himself mentally as soon as he realized where he was.

How can you not differentiate the laughter of a man and a woman?

His subconscious mind taunted. Because his Krishna and Krishnaa are the same, his heart made a come back and his mind agreed.

But still, you shouldn't have come here.

His mind whispered worriedly at the heart that burned in the pits of hell as it witnessed its other half in someone else embrace. Sahdev, his youngest brother and most pampered by his mata and now by his wife.

Our mata and our wife.

The subconscious mind reminded him as it stabbed millions of arrows in his heart. He was the youngest Kounteya, thus most pampered among the three brothers. It wasn't like Mata Madri didn't love them or Mata Kunti didn't love the twins but the youngest is the most pampered and that was his case. Being an introvert, his mother paying him a bit extra attention and care made him feel loved and secure because he was not able to express how he felt, unlike his elder brothers. But after Pitashree and Mata Madri's death, everything changed for him. He was a little guy back then who understood it and didn't understand it at the same time. He knew what death was but couldn't understand why his father died or why mata madri jumped into fire leaving them behind.

He missed his madri ma who used to sing him to sleep. Who would encourage him to become a better person, a better warrior? Who would secretly serve him extra kheer and ask him not to tell anyone and especially the twins? He missed his pitashree pandu. The way he used to act like he is scolding him. Him teaching him archery and making him tiny bows and arrows, one of which he had still preserved. Who would tell him of kings and warriors that followed dharma? But nothing lasts long, does it?

After their death, Nakul and Sahdev needed most of their mata's time. He had to force himself to stop going near his mata cause they both needed her. Yes, their pain was more, they lost both of them, but what about him? He was the most pampered and suddenly when he needed everyone the most he had to become understanding. There were times when he wanted to cry in his mother's lap after facing the Kauravs but restrained himself because he found Nakul and Sahdev in her lap instead. His mother always used to ask him how he felt but now he felt that he doesn't matter. It was not the case, his mother was busy and she was a strong woman but he was too young to understand that. Among his brothers, Yudhisthira preferred bheem the most, and sahdev preferred Nakul. His mother pampered Sahdev the most while she took care of Yudhisthira the most and always put his decisions before herself. But Arjun was neither the one in power nor the one who was pampered. The middle child is the one that is loved yet ignored. Too young to understand what was happening to him. He tried to overcome it by becoming the best warrior and casting everything aside. Every feeling, every emotion aside. Once he grew up, he became more insecure and this time it was about his looks. Looks didn't matter to warrior but you could become a bit insecure when you hear how you were the least handsome among your brothers. And it was true. He fought his mental demons all alone until... Until he met Madhav. Madhav was his opposite. Handsome, charming, and extrovert. But there was a lot in common among them. Love for music, their name, their color, their love of nature, and many more. He finally found the home for his heart with his Madhav. There was not a thing in the world that he couldn't discuss with him without being judged. For all, he knows he could cry like a baby in front of him. But he couldn't always be with him. He loved him the most but he wanted someone to himself. Someone who could be his like Rukmini is to Madhav.