Behind Closed Doors

4 - Twerking Contest

Connor's POV

I do not know what CRUEL twist of fate or irony put me in this situation, but I was cursing whatever deity or trickster god was responsible.

"I, physically, cannot stress enough how much I don't want to be here or do this," I say out loud for the tenth time.

"Too bad you don't have a choice Daddykins" His daughter, Allison, said in the most dismissive of tones as she read out the comments of people who were donating in their livestream as Riley finished setting up the camera.

"Just go with it, sir. It'll be over before you know it," Riley tried to console me.

"If you call me sir one more time-" I don't know why, but it made me feel INCREDIBLY old when Riley did that.

I was barely in my early 30s!!!

I'm still very much considered a young man in some circles.

I was still hip and cool and fresh with the kiddos.

I'm still very much a young whippersnapper and in with the times.

The more you try to convince yourself, the sadder this whole situation becomes.

"We just need an impartial judge to decide who is undoubtedly the winner," Riley says next, ignoring my threat with a chuckle.

That's one thing I appreciated about him. He never took me too seriously, and always knew when I was joking because I did have this issue where I involuntarily become a little too intense.

It was Claire's biggest complaint.

She always accused me of being "too much" and never being able to tone things down for her sake.

And when I DID tone things down, I was being an emotionally distant monster.

I could literally never win.

"Yeah, Dad! We're not even asking you to do much!! Don't be so selfish, what about MY needs!?" Allison wails dramatically as she lifts a hand to her head in a gesture where she pretends like she's going to faint.

God bless her for inheriting my sense of humour.

I don't care what ANYONE says about the circumstances with her birth and how we came to be a family.

She was MY daughter. End of discussion.

"Excuse me if I'm not so thrilled about being forced and held against my will to judge a "twerk-off" between my daughter and her boyfriend," I say deadpan.

"And? Is there a problem?" Allison countered.

"I'd rather be dead. Just put a bullet between my eyes," I respond.

"Your family is surprisingly suicidal," Riley comments as he comes back to stand next to Allison.

Oh, I think it's worth pointing out that I was also literally tied down to my chair. No way I'd be sitting here otherwise.

And I had to give it to Riley, boys good with a rope and knot.

The craftsmanship of his handiwork was quite impressive.

And coming from a proud owner of a mildly successful woodworking/furniture business? That says a lot.

"We're all set to go!" Riley informed Allison.

"Great!" She said, getting up from her seat and adjusting her bum shorts before standing in view of the camera.

I think I'm going to be sick.