Behind Closed Doors

6 - Starlight Conversations

"Ow ow ow!!" Connor winced as I applied the antiseptic disinfectant to a small bruise on the side of his lips that none of us had noticed.

"Hold still!!" I chastised.

I reach a hand to grab his beardy chin to hold him in place.

But truth be told I didn't need to.

Despite the pain, he was surprisingly holding himself in place. Plus my hands were quite steady thanks to my mom.

But Lord knows I WOULD NOT pass up ANY chance to touch this man at any possible given opportunity.

Also, Connor didn't seem to mind it so I'm sure it's fine.

The cops had left 30 minutes ago after getting out statements.

And true to Connor's words, the police who showed up were highschool friends of Connor's and they let us off with a warning because "technically those boys were causing a public disturbance, and what you good samaritans did was coral and subdue them."

The system may be corrupt-

"-But this town really doesn't tolerate catcallers or douchey guys."

Was what I said when the cops left.

"Ameen to that." Connor replied, as brought out one of the coolers we'd taken to the pool and fished out two beers for us to share.

I hated the taste of beer, but was more than willing to chug a bottle down to be able to spend more time with Connor.

That was until he told me both bottles were for him.

I faltered a bit, but then Connor quickly ran into his house and came back out seconds later passing me a bottle of my favourite fruity cherry soft drink.

If only he knew I was just as fruity as the drink.

The gesture was more than incredible and heartwarming, and I could feel my big dumb heart start to deceive itself into believing I was falling in love...again!!

I slam a fist against my chest when Connor wasn't looking to get my stupid hormones in check.

I do not love him, I just have a crush! GOT IT!?

I wasn't about to set myself up for failure by falling in love with a married man who has ZERO sexual or romantic interest in me.

Now that would just be tragic.

Yes, Connor might be bisexual.

But that didn't mean jack shit when he was not available or interested.

And most importantly.

I wasn't ready to come out of the closet.

Being openly gay was overrated anyway. Right?

Who wants to be accepted yet openly mocked and hated by literally everyone on the planet??

Nope. Not me.

This dark closet I'm living in is mighty fine and comfortable.

I thrive in darkness anyway.

After convincingly lying to myself for the 10th time this week, scratch that, this day, I look up at the stars.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Connor said, joining me on me and my mom's porch with both his bottles of beer.

I clichédly looked back at him and smile while answering, "Yes," while not breaking eye contact with his face as he absently started up into space.